aftermath of a divine appointment

Tonight, a friend introduced me to Bill and his wife Laney. I conversed until 2am with my new friends; we covered everything from the divisive nature of truth, to the building of God's kingdom, to faith, to marriage.

I must admit, the last topic has been a struggle this week. After reading some blogs that justify every reason I should expect to remain single, I asked some tough questions:

• If God has given me the desire to be a father of many, is it feasible to marry someone my own age? Is marrying younger reasonable or acceptable in this culture?
• Likewise, are there women who haven't spent the last ten years "getting their ducks in a row," so as to actually yield to the yoke that God has placed on my life?
• Would a 21st century woman choose to be led by me as her husband?

I'm hung up by Solomon's words. If "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord (Prov. 18:22)," then what is the man's responsibility in finding?

I've become increasingly convinced that the church has done men a disservice by promoting the idea that we must "wait" for a wife. I'm not saying that God doesn't prepare a season in which He releases and blesses us to pursue marriage, but rather that we have become so prone to distrusting our own motives that we do not diligently seek a wife as scripture suggests.

We sit on our hands waiting for her to be dropped from the sky while God is desiring our hearts to be so in tune with His that we know the peace of an honorable woman upon exposure to her heart. It requires no faith for me to marry the woman that God drops in my lap -- if He told me tomorrow who my wife was to be, we would be wed by the next day. Rather, I must trust that He has given me eyes to identify a righteous woman, solely because she reflects the glory of my Father.

I know that God is continuing that transformation; if it were up to my flesh, I would only marry a meek young virgin that had already laid herself before Him in ruin. While He may choose to bless me in that way, He also may bring peace to my heart through someone drastically different. I may be laughing like Sarah at the fulfillment of His plan, wondering why He chose such an unconventional method to fulfill the vision He placed on my heart...