My desire is not to imprison it again, but to communicate through verse the desperation of a mind imprisoned. While the mouth verbalizes ideas and processes previously designated for this work present, I've lost the affection I once had for the community of readers and writers (always to be one before the other), and I believe I've lost my faith as a result. No, I haven't dismissed the foundational truths of Jesus Christ, nor do intend to walk away from the spirit-enriched life chronicled in these pages. However, I feel a reboot is necessary: pressing the button without return that says one thing has passed and new things are to come.
This is hard to explain -- perhaps a story would be of help...
And they approached the village where they were going, and He acted as though He were going farther. But they urged Him, saying, “Stay with us, for it is getting toward evening, and the day is now nearly over.” So He went in to stay with them. When He had reclined at the table with them, He took the bread and blessed it, and breaking it, He began giving it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him; and He vanished from their sight. They said to one another, “Were not our hearts burning within us while He was speaking to us on the road, while He was explaining the Scriptures to us?” And they got up that very hour and returned to Jerusalem, and found gathered together the eleven and those who were with them, saying, “The Lord has really risen and has appeared to Simon.” They began to relate their experiences on the road and how He was recognized by them in the breaking of the bread. (Luke 24:28-34)Sometime between the hundreds of firsthand miracle accounts and the Pentecost experience, the disciples stopped writing. They appear to have spent this time together, whether to share of previous times or to hold out in blind obedience for something they didn't truly believe. Whatever the case, faith and recognition for their Lord was not the motivation. Perhaps they needed to clear whatever had been caged in their minds; it would've been hard to know whom they could trust in doing so. I feel I have a testifiable(?) past and that I faithlessly hope for a future already promised. During the interlude, my screen has frozen blue and I haven't made sense of 0x00000051. The only solution is hitting the reset and allowing the uncorrupted information to reload in a safe environment.
I believe God has allowed me the blessing of that environment. Now, if I should risk losing everything by hitting this [power]