Bad habits arise when I begin formulating my own image between the pieces that have been filled. I get a picture that the emptiness should be filled with reds or blues, that the house should have an arc-shaped roof, or that the flower should be in bloom. My picture is rarely correct (or for that matter, interesting), but I can’t help myself. And as certain as His love, He will show me the errors of my knowledge, fill in a portion of the hole with His own piece, and leave me pleading for more.
Lately, the process has been a greater deal more frustrating. It is as if He has introduced random, scattered pieces every week, and they belong to different sections of the entire surface. I cannot fill in the holes, because nothing makes sense together. Rather than working from the outside in, He is joining the seemingly arbitrary pieces at the core. The following is one such discovery about my Father.
My co-worker loves 80’s music. I’ll be diligently checking rooms for signs of foul play, and she’ll be shamelessly singing along with Journey on her iPhone. I don’t fault her much, as the music from my teenage years can be equally embarrassing, but I do give her a good rip on her favorite artist. She loves WHAM. More specifically, she loves George Michael. I’m old enough to know his music, but I’m young enough to see him as a caricature of the times (not unlike how 20-somethings might feel about the 90s flannel party.)
A part of the parody comes from watching VH1 specials. I see Michael and his posse swinging their hips to the anthem “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go,” and it is nothing short of ridiculous. They are clad in all white aside from the statement on their t-shirts: “CHOOSE LIFE.” Apparently, these were marketed to fund an environmental charity, and WHAM was the perfect (willing) band to promote them. These and other statement shirts became an icon of 1980s political lobbyists.
The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.” (Genesis 2:15-17)
“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized that they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. (Genesis 3:4-7, emphasis added)
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD you God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. (Deuteronomy 30:19-20)
I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. I tell you the truth, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live. For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son to have life in himself. And he has given him authority to judge because he is the Son of Man. (John 5:24-27)
We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who is born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true -- even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. (1 John 5:18-20)
For years, I had been hearing and entertaining arguments about free will. I had heard it said that a loving God could not deny us free will upon our creation, because the truest expression of creation’s love is choosing Him when confronted with good and evil.
And then I read the passages in Genesis, and realized that I’ve had it all wrong. The conversation about free will (choosing to follow God or not) is preceded by a more important choice. The only boundary that God gave Adam was to choose between life or death.
So here’s a mindblowing question: Did God ever intend us to know anything?
I had to process this. Could our desire for knowledge really be the sole origin of our death? Our ability to reason between good and evil, right and wrong, holy and common -- never intended? In life, God never needed to explain anything. Adam and Eve walked with Him in the garden carefree, because there was no human reason to assume that he wouldn’t continue to be God. They weren’t concerned with poverty, hunger, distrust, infidelity, or any of the other fears that creep into relationships. They didn’t even know that they were naked! They knew no such thing as racism, beauty, wealth, or depression. They knew life; death was the absence of what they knew.
So how does death relate with the knowledge of all things previously unknown? Hang with me…
*Our human reasoning requires us to create and utilize weaponry, because we must defend against greater evils. If we do not have the best minds in science defending our nation, someone else will have the greatest minds defending theirs. Knowledge = Anti-life.
*Our human knowledge leads to the decision to abort and use contraception. We should be able to engage in a pleasurable act without risking life. If raising a child was easy, no mother or father would make this choice. But the world is getting harder, and how can we afford to provide for another when we already have so little? Knowledge = Anti-life.
*Our human knowledge brings us into states of depression. The sharpest minds, and not the simpler ones, recognize the evil around them and find that life is not worth living. I myself have heralded martyrdom above all else, not because of His glory, but because I desire to leave for a better place. Knowledge = Anti-life.
*Our human reasoning of finance prevents us from making sacrifices that would bring greater life to others. I have a house payment, a car payment, utilities, phone, school, etc. -- and I am expected to give to the poor with my hard earned money? Knowledge = Anti-life.
*Worst, our human reasoning allows for personal pride. It is the comparison of self to others that has brought forth envy, jealousy, hatred, greed, and racism. A comparison that wouldn’t be known if we had no knowledge that we were even naked.
Sure, what’s done is done. There is no use in crying over spilled milk. We do have the knowledge of good and evil. We have the ability to process and analyze, and these functions will continue to bring out the best and the worst of us. I’ve spent an entire lifetime pursuing wisdom, only to arrive and find that I am miserable and haven’t concluded anything helpful. I have no doubt that God can redeem anything that He chooses, but I must admit, if my knowledge leads me away from life, I am a foolish man and my life is in vain.
But these New Testament passages pierce me. While God always intended us to choose life, He understands that our sin has given us over to death. I love the language in 1 John 5: “…that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true.” We are again asked to choose between life and death, with God as the initiator: the same way that Adam was asked in the Garden, and the same way that Israel was through the words of Moses. I always understood Christ as my Savior, as my bridge to salvation. But He is also allowing us to choose between His Spirit and our own knowledge, to return to a place where we trust Him implicitly. One brings life and one brings death. It’s the age old question, predating our own understanding.
Choose life.
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