a tale of two covenants -- part 2

Have you ever read or heard something that made your jaw drop and slowly state, “Woooooo…that makes so much sense?”

During my regularly scheduled blog hop, I stumbled across some articles on marriage that forced me to evaluate how my church upbringing and my wounds have sent me way off track in my “pursuit.” In fact, my church upbringing and my wounds have perfectly ruined any attempt at a “pursuit,” so that “pursuit” is no longer an appropriate word for what I have been doing.

These truths also gave me a biblical understanding of why I hate being pursued by women so much, and why it is unnatural according to God’s natural order, beyond the typical gender role agenda of the traditional church.

First, let’s explore a couple simple proverbs of which you may already be acquainted:

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. (18:22)

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (31:10-12)

Throw in a dash of Paul:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleaning her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Eph. 5:25-28)

John will close out our study:

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son in to the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:7-11)

Break it down…

Truth #1: We cannot know love without knowing God. I’m sure many of us claim this truth as believers, but consider how many people we would acknowledge to “be in love” that do not know God. For example, if someone would ask about them, I would say that my parents love one another. But my dad doesn’t know God, so how can he love? And then I look at the fruit: I see selfishness, rudeness, jealousy, and all sorts of things that Paul tells us are contrary to love. Not to sell my dad short -- he holds an affinity for my mom that has contributed to nearly 38 years of marriage. One might even say, there are lingering remnants of the Lord’s glory within my dad’s attempt at love.

I could ease the argument, and say that my dad simply loves in a different way than God, but this would contradict Paul…

Truth #2: Man’s love for his bride is to mirror God’s love for the Church. Here’s where things get dicey; I may lose you ladies. Having grown up in the church, one of the truths that I did not grasp until late in my 20s is that Christ apprehends man. For years, I was under the impression that if I wanted more of God, I had to seek Him on my own terms, hoping to chase some elusive deity until He saw my desperation and gave up hiding. And while there is some apprehending to be done on our behalf, we do not have a relationship with God because anything that we have done. Our Father chose us, he predestined us, and he made himself known to us (Eph. 1:3-14).

Do you realize that you would have no right to apprehend God if He had not first chosen to make himself known to you? You may understand this theoretically, but consider this: without God making radically aggressive moves towards us, our lives would be lived in complete separation from our Creator. You understand love because this is what was required: that His Son would serve as the sacrifice for our sins, so that Christ could present His perfect Bride, the Church.

Reconcile what Paul is truly expressing. In the same way that God radically and aggressively pursued mankind to demonstrate the existence of love -- an existence that would not be known apart from Him -- husbands are expected to love their wives. This correlation brings about two uncomfortable conclusions for the 21st century:

• Men are not expected to idly sit back and wait for their beloved to present herself.
• While a woman can know love through the Father, she cannot know love in a marriage relationship apart from their husband first demonstrating his love for her.

My dear sisters, you may be thinking to yourself, “That isn’t fair!” And I would ask you, is it any less fair than the Church’s understanding of love through a willful submission to the aggressive pursuit of our Lord? Would we call God unjust because we want to be the one to love Him? That would be ridiculous. Try to keep an open mind as I speak contrary to the world or your experiences.

As man and woman desperately seek God in a passionate response to His love, man comes to find that while God has given him vision and purpose for serving his Father, it is not good to be alone. What better expression in service to God than to model His love for mankind? So God establishes the standard of the righteous and upright woman for the man -- bone of his bones, and flesh of his flesh -- and the man decides it is time to honor God through marriage. He sets out to see if his journey can be successful. He demonstrates his love to the women in his life: serving, protecting, and leading them selflessly -- loving according to the 1 Cor. 13 foundation established by God and not the world. He contains his heart for passion and romance until its due time.

Woman sees the heart of the upright men in her life, and she responds to their love in kind. She serves, comforts, and guards their hearts selflessly, not presuming to present herself as a bride, but as a sister. As the groom comes calling, he will search the hearts of those that have responded to his love, and will ask the chosen one’s hand in marriage. She has the decision to accept his offer according to the love demonstrated to her; she may reject it based on the same standard, which she should know fully well according to the love that her Heavenly Father has lavished on her. Any “love” that does not mirror the Father’s love will not stir her heart, for this “love” is foreign to her, and not really love at all. The groom that presents his heart as one after the Father’s will be loved if the woman has understood love according to the Father.

Quaint, huh? Final truth…

Truth #3 The man who loves his wife -- and the wife who loves her husband -- are in fact loving the image of God that they recognize in one another. This is why all other love is not really love at all. The marriage that God intended, reflecting the glory of His own love for His children, must be represented by two people that seek Him first. The reason that a man receives favor from the Lord when he finds a wife is that she demonstrates everything feminine that he adores in his Creator. The reason that a woman receives comfort from the Lord when she is found by a husband is that he demonstrates everything masculine that she admires in her Father.

Does that sound attractive to anyone in this world?

consequence

Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and fell facedown, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. The Lord said to Moses, "Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink."

So Moses took the staff from the Lord's presence, just as he commanded him. He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, "Listen you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.

But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."

These were the waters of Meribah, where the Israelites quarreled with the Lord and where he showed himself holy among them. (Numbers 20:8-13)

Since I was a child, I have despised this passage.

I also recognize that I must wrestle with every characteristic of God that I find in scripture. I can't skip past this passage because I find it humanly unjust, or because I do not understand the ways of God, or by using the Old Testament argument.

This really happened, and it happened to the man I identify with most.

I'll be honest, with or without this passage, I have somehow accepted a mentality that great consequence is awaiting every one of my sins. Yes, it is theologically accurate to assume that each and every sin reaps the punishment of death, but many would understand Romans to mean that His grace has stripped us of the eternal sting of sin. And while most believers would conclude that some sins bear worse worldly consequence -- according to the effect our sins may have on another -- I have somehow come to bear an even greater burden:

I expect each and every sin of mine to rob me of a personal blessing.

I've never come out and said this. I don't theologically or cognitively believe this. But as the saying goes, the proof is in the pudding.

We are given little explanation as to why Job or Joseph had to endure such hardship to retain the position that God had in mind from the beginning. We are simply to accept that God blesses and takes away, and that we cannot fully understand why God chooses to do either. His decisions certainly are not standardized, nor are they "equal" in regards to worldly justice.

And maybe my struggle for perfection has me gravitating towards the harshest punishment I can fathom for a single sin, but when I read this passage in Numbers, I see myself. I see myself raising that staff, committing the deed, and losing everything I have worked for as a result.

But to be fair, God never promised Moses the blessing of crossing the Jordan. Job's story finished well because God found favor in him remaining blameless. Joseph may have lived a rough life, but his dream had to be fulfilled. More like Moses, I look at everything I have lost, and realize that God never promised me any of it. He never promised me a thriving ministry, the affectionate love of my family, or the privilege to be married and have ancestors like the stars.

Here's the God-defining question joggling in my brain: have I not received these blessings because God never promised them, or because I lost them on account of my own sin?

Reinforcements are in place. The most amazing people that have left my life have done so because of a single event. At the very least, it is the single event that has been offered as the reasoning behind the abandonment. In some cases, I can see the chain reaction of the single event and realize that the fallout could have been avoided through my obedience. These moments are actually easier to swallow. With other abandonment, I can only assume that being alone is directly linked to my sin.

This is why I can share an amazing Spirit-led conversation with someone, the kind that builds intimacy and brotherhood and is not easily forgotten, and find myself bewildered at their short memory. They have forgotten battling together for another man's soul. They have forgotten the way in which the Spirit enlightened both of us in conversation. They have lost the sense of joy and wonder for the miraculous works we have watched and demonstrated in unity. A single event supercedes all prior history.

It is not surprising then that I expect to be abandoned each time I raise my voice, or relax while someone else needs help, or do a double-take when a beautiful woman walks by me. In my impulsive moment of sin, is God willing to take away the people that matter most? Aside from God, nothing else matters to me but his children. What other blessing could be stripped that would get my attention?

Do I think this is an unfair standard? Sometimes. I think it's unfair when I watch a husband talk down to his wife, or a mother use her kids for personal gain, or a friend pressuring his peers into sin. Because most people seem to serve very few consequences for these actions, even for ongoing behavior. If God would take everything from me for striking the rock, what should I expect to remain? I will never be strong enough to uphold the Law in my life, and theologically speaking, I shouldn't be expected to live that way.

I know that this is one giant lie, and I'm tired of weeping over the uneven results of my sin. And if my consequences have nothing at all to do with my sin, and God is only wanting to demonstrate His glory through my circumstances, then I'm tired of being frustrated by what I do not have. But I can guarantee, the next time somebody amazing leaves me hanging, I will assume I have been in the wrong. I will look to my last sin and determine that the shoe dropped there.

in case you were wondering...

When asked by the disciples why He spoke in parables, Christ said,

This is why I speak to them in parables: though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
For this people's heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’

But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it. (Matt. 13-13-17)

In quoting Isaiah 6:9-10, Jesus claims that the prophesy has been fulfilled through the spiritually blind in their age. In Isaiah's time, the prophet was given this message to deliver to unfaithful Israel until the exile. In both instances, God has promised that these spiritual truths will be understood by a minority: the remnant of Israel that would serve Him faithfully in holiness.

I believe that we are living in another such age. Just as God previously called out remnants in a culture of tradition, idolatry, and what can best be described as spiritual prostitution, He is doing the same today. I have come to realize that those who see themselves as rich, healthy, and satisfied in their sin will not hear truth unless they acknowledge their blindness. Rather than further callous their hearts, I would prefer to speak to those willing to hear through narratives, word pictures, and yes, even some parables.

united by a King (and a common enemy)

Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside they sent someone in the call him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."

"Who are my mother and brothers?" he asked.

Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother." (Mark 3:31-35)

Harsh, right?

I'm reminded of Paul's charge to Timothy to join him in suffering for Christ, because soldiers lack the luxury of acting like civilians (2 Tim. 2:3-4). A modern example: a U.S. Marine understands that his priority is "God, Country, Corps" -- all other affairs (including family) take a backseat. The soldier returning from war will commonly hold stronger bonds with those that shared in the fight than with those he defended. They carry the burden of shedding their blissful ignorance.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, in case you have forgotten, we are at war. As citizens of His heavenly kingdom, our enemy is not a man, a country, or a political ideology. As a soldier of Christ, these priorities are mere child's play, regardless of how you may elevate them. While believers concern themselves with the defense of their physical lives and resources, our people are being murdered left and right. This is why Jesus warns us:

"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in hell." (Matt. 10:28)

Sit and listen within your Christian circles. I hear plenty of rhetoric about defending family values, saving the economy, creating jobs, and preventing socialism. We couldn't make it much easier for the real enemy.

*************************

I was discouraged this past Thursday when my grand plans for leading group turned ugly. The girls were dealing with a lot of emotional baggage, and were becoming tired of the therapy process. I asked them to share something that had frustrated them lately, what expectations led to that frustration, and whether these expectations were reasonable. After initially trying to get off the hook with a joke, a resident coldly replied (edited for graphic content):

I'm upset because my dad sexually abused me when I was seven. And then they placed me in a foster home. And then I did [this], and [this], and [this]. So they had to place me in a different foster home. And then I did [this] and [this]. Now I'm stuck here. So right now, I am most frustrated with my choices, because I expect better of myself.

She turns eleven next week, and the enemy is already pronouncing his claim.

This is the real battle: the kind of stories we used to hear in short supply. But Church, our enemy is an equal-opportunity murderer, and the stories have become uncomfortably close. Roughly half of the female bloggers I read identify themselves as abuse victims, and these are the ones that are willing to share. Their circumstances range from rich to poor, young to old, two-parent to single-parent, and Christian to unbelieving. Gone are the days of the victim profile.

As believers, we can shut our eyes to the danger, but we risk losing the souls of those we love. Satan will take every opportunity to brand God's children with guilt and shame. Short of waging a spiritual battle against a spiritual murderer with spiritual weapons, we will continue to lose ground. The battle is upon us whether we would fight it or not.

Christ is seeking brethren that would do God's will, because without His power and authority, we are civilians awaiting a certain death. We can distract ourselves with entertainment, sex, politics, social gatherings -- even church functions. The enemy will use all of these to keep you from recognizing your own demise. If you are not committed to falling on your face before the King in humble service, you are of no use to the Kingdom by which you claim to belong. Worse, you are of little light or consolation to the world Satan intends to kill.

Our brotherhood and sisterhood is found in the battle, and our King intends us to fight for our lives. He promises life, healing, and freedom to those that abide in His presence. His truth penetrates the lies that bind us, and His love and grace incite us to aggressively minister to those facing death -- those remaining at odds with the Kingdom. God longs to reconcile all of creation to Himself, and we are the ambassadors He has chosen to deliver this gospel. Let us remember the identity of our true enemy, and so restore the lives of the brokenhearted through holiness and purity of heart.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

awaiting revelation

In November 2006, I fell into a deep sleep during the middle of the day, and I received this dream:

I was a child pitching in a little league game. I finished off the opponent's lineup with ease, and my catcher and I celebrated after the game. Next scene, the two of us were practicing pitches for the championship game across from my parent's yard, when one of my pitches flew over her head. As the two of us chased down the ball, I noticed that the trees in this typically wooded area had been chopped down, leaving only the stumps. She and I went back to our homes to change into our uniforms for the big game. While opening my dresser drawer, I heard noise and traffic outside my window. I looked past the curtain, and a funeral was being held next door. In front of the seated guests was a statue monument with the name "Sam McKinley" enscripted underneath. I began weeping heavily and woke up with a sharp awareness of these events.

I posted this dream sequence on my now defunct MySpace account. An anonymous reader commented with an interpretation -- unfortunately, the message was removed after she apparently closed her account. Here's a summary of the interpretation:

The game is your ministry. You have found success, but the next stage will require greater training. Those around you will face trials and grief. While this will fall close, your own life will be spared from this. The big game will continue despite these obstacles, and God's intent for your ministry will be fulfilled.

Three months later, my church planting coordinator suffered deep burns in a house fire. While in the hospital, our district superintendent lost his wife in a tragic accident. This sequence effectively removed my appointed authority: our superintendent resigning his post to tend to family matters, and my coordinator growing more distant before leaving our movement in St. Louis two years later. Through this transition, I offered myself to new authority in discipleship and walked into the larger vision of reformation.

In my current restlessness, these images have forced their way front and center. My discipler is praying along with me for revelation, but much is still unclear. The catcher, the stumps, the funeral, and the monument await. I present this to my online readers asking for your prayers or any word of revelation the Spirit might impress upon you.

Please take this request seriously, and only offer an interpretation if it is from the Lord. Likewise, if the Lord speaks, do not delay sharing in fear. Thank you, friends, and God bless :)

restless

In just over four hours, I have to punch in at work. Then, I spend 16 of the next 24 hours there. Since I cannot force myself to sleep tonight, and the people I am burdened for are heavy on my mind, I'm going to need a supernatural intervention to keep me going. And that's if the girls have a good day :-/

I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. I have a reputation as a good staff and a team player (hence the crazy schedule), but this job is slowly sucking the life out of me, and it's hard to understand on what or whom God has me waiting.

When I'm not working, I'll be mowing, washing dishes, or trying to squeeze a few hours of sleep in my life. I'll try to write on Friday morning if my body allows it. In the meantime...

God, would you let me rest in you?

continuing to search for resolution

Three months ago (boy, does time fly), I wrote about the circumstantial link to my own struggle with lust, and closed the post without a helpful conclusion. I proposed that the greatest difficulty in discovering the key to sexual purity is that lustful thoughts and actions attach themselves to so many root issues. To cleanse ourselves of the iniquity of sexual sin, we must identify and renounce the lie or corruption that serves as its catalyst.

I'm not sure how much more I understand today than I did in May. Too often, I still try to fight the battle for my mind through flesh and blood. There is no doubt that the Lord owns my heart; it is the corruption of His desires that leads me to fulfill them in my own poor strength.

I mentioned in the previous post that I have never struggled through this battle while in a relationship, which leads me to believe that its root is all about security. Since my personality and gifting does not find security in location, finance, or occupation, I have attached this need to the women in my life. When I am single, I lack any form of physical security, and my wandering eyes attempt to guide me to the security I desire. Whether the fleshly pursuit of a "prime mate" is innate or not is of little importance. Regardless of biology, I am trying to find in a woman the security meant to be found in Him.

This summer has been challenging, because God has increasingly taken so much from me that I am forced to my knees. What He has given me has only kept me there longer. He has asked me to be a shield and a spiritual leader to the women in my life, and I am to presume nothing more. The romantic heart I have been given is only to protect these beautiful hearts and not for the sake of my own claim. As I am left unsatisfied in my own pull for affection, God is raising the expectation for intimacy with Him.

This has not come void of Satan's attacks. I am periodically fed the lie that God owes me something physical in return for my obedience, and God has not promised this gratification of my flesh. He has promised (and fulfilled) His continual presence. I haven't stopped pleading with God for human affection, but I also acknowledge that His fulfillment of my desire for a wife will not come superficially. My best looking days are behind me, and I cannot hope to draw a woman with my former charms. I can only accept a companion that seeks Him intimately with me, because our lives will serve nothing else.

From my experiences, I am skeptical. I am suspicious of the idea that any woman would give up her own superficial standard to serve the Lord with me -- I am suspicious because I have always upheld my own. And if she is to love my heart solely because of the Spirit within me and my love for Jesus, there will always be better men that will demonstrate the same. To trust that God has any woman in mind is an impossible task without an unprecedented faith, and while that faith is growing with each day on my face, my belief is still short of His promises. Maybe it always will be, and I must hope that His grace is sufficient to compensate for my doubt.

For now, my frustrations are connected to the expectations I place on the Lord, of which He has not promised a time or place on the fulfillment of His promise. I cannot justify disappointment for receiving my reward in full: the appreciation and respect of wonderful women that are gracious for my act of obedient service. Receiving anything more would only be according to His divine and perfect will. I suspect that's the best I can ask from Him.

like dew from the Lord

If we read scripture from front to back, a common theme throughout is God's desire for a holy people, separate from the world and its common things. God separated Noah and his family before the flood. God separated Abraham and called him into covenant. God called the Israelites out of Egypt. He demanded that this holy nation remain pure from the influence of foreigners. He reserved 7000 in the time of Elijah. He spared a portion of His people to be reclaimed through Ezra's leadership.

God sent His Son to separate the narrow from the wide, the sheep from the goats, the fruitful from the fruitless...the righteous from the cursed.

Why would we assume that He operates differently today?

We despise judgment.

We like it when God is kind -- when He unifies, blesses, and gives good gifts. We like these characteristics so much that we apply them to everyone. We invite spiritual foreigners into His house of worship. We hand out the gift of salvation outside of His terms, because we feel this is the right of the church. We love people to Christ without mentioning His Word, because to speak the truth would cast judgment upon those sentenced to death.

A God that separates is not marketable, nor does He fit the tolerant values of the 21st century. But if we are to know Him, we must wrestle with the characteristics of God that we do not particularly like within our own ignorant sense of justice.

Micah 5 is a Messianic prophesy explaining what is to occur with the coming of Christ. As God had previously defined "His people" as the Jews, the death and resurrection of Christ is to bring about another age of separation. As He establishes His rule, Jesus calls a remnant to proclaim the word of truth:

The remnant of Jacob will be in the midst of many peoples like dew from the Lord, like showers on the grass, which do not wait for man or linger for mankind.

The remnant of Jacob will be among the nations, in the midst of many peoples, like a lion among the beast of the forest, like a young lion among flocks of sheep, which mauls and mangles as it goes, and no one can rescue. (Micah 5:7-8)

Those that Christ has set apart have been scattered among the people. They do not answer to men, nor do they wait for their permission or readiness to serve His justice. While like showers on the grass to some, the remnant will be a terror to those that oppose Christ, because His word will condemn. Jesus does not intend for the remnant to live peacefully from those that would deny the truth; He intends them to consume the darkness that remains.

"In that day," declares the Lord, "I will destroy your horses from among you and demolish your chariots. I will destroy the cities of your land and tear down your strongholds. I will destroy your witchcraft and you will no longer cast spells. I will destroy your carved images and your sacred stones from among you; you will no longer bow down to the work of your hands. I will uproot from among you your Asherah poles and demolish your cities. I will take vengeance in anger and wrath upon the nations that have not obeyed me. (v.10-15, emphasis added)"

Just as when Christ purified His people in establishing the Church, He continues to do the same thing today. He will not tolerate our idolatry, nor will He accept the worship of our own works. When His people have become corrupt and have turned to the common ways of the world -- when His people invite the practices of foreigners into His consecrated house -- He will call out His remnant. This remnant will be accepted with joy or received with terror, depending on the response to His Word.

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 2:15-16 that those who minister and share the gospel of Christ will be the fragrance of life to some and the smell of death to others. We cannot mask our scent to become pleasing to all who may hear. By the very nature of the gospel of repentance, this word casts judgment upon those who do not believe. Where the church lacks conviction, it loses its aroma. Where the church compromises the truth, it rids itself of judgment and the smell of death. But it also ceases to be the fragrance of life to those who believe.

God is calling out His remnant, and we all have a decision to make. We can preach a diluted gospel that does not judge, but it also lacks the power to save. We can continue to call ourselves God's people, but reject every mouth of truth that proclaims the terror of the Lord. We can enjoy "unity" in worship along with those who do not believe, but face Christ's rejection of our human service.

As for me, I'd rather be called out from His people than be left to care for the complacent and disobedient. Like dew from the Lord, may He scatter His Word wherever He sees fit.

this little light of mine

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

I finally had a moment of peace and was nibbling on McDonald's fries while catching up on my favorite blogs. There were no teenage girls needing emotional deescalation, nor any ten-year-old charmers trying to avoid folding their laundry by shining cute dimples. Nope. At long last there was quiet as I waited for my Bible study partners to arrive.

A 50-something man in business casual garb placed his laptop and work folders on a nearby table. As he was heading towards the counter, he spotted the Bible sitting at the corner of my own table and remarked, "Good book."

I was engrossed in my own world and was actively ignoring his. I turned my face up from my phone, and irritably replied, "Huh?"

He clarified, "I said that you have a good book there."

I half-smiled and gave a nodding gesture to let him know that he had done his Christian deed by acknowledging the existence of another believer, and that I planned to return to my own world. He continued to the counter to order.

A million thoughts ran through my head. You see, my friends and I meet at the Granger McDonald's because they have a Playplace for Michael's three oldest kids. It's the only business I have in Granger -- I generally try to avoid environments heavy with cozy, well-to-do Christianity, and Granger is our regional capital in this regard.

[See Anthony support his bias with blanket statements. See Anthony become so accustomed to rejection that he rejects them first. See Anthony blend into worldly oblivion.]

God has grace. The man returns and the Holy Spirit leads him to continue:

"I hope I'm not bothering you. I was wondering if you were a minister or something."

My defensive instincts kick into full gear. I think to myself, "Okay Baby Boomer, do you really want some of this? Do you want me to speak words that you will receive as condemnation because you have no desire to leave your life of comfort? Do you need me to be the bad guy?!?"

Amazingly, I keep the thoughts to myself and begin sharing my vision for reformation and ministry to God. I was obedient with an asterisk. What now, God?

This man named John begins sharing a story of how his family took in a teenage girl that would've easily ended up in placement. It was the same sad story I witness every day, only he and his wife had provided a happy ending. John said that it was hard for him to experience the kind of ministry they had to this girl and still reconcile the comfort he saw in other believers. He was ruined like me.

I sat through 30 minutes of what seemed like an interview. I answered dozens of questions pertaining to what God had shown me about His Church, and this elder affirmed every single answer. I was dumbfounded. Having initially dismissed John as nothing more than another Sunday Christian, he immediately showed himself to be a brother, and began to encourage me in my lonely place. He acknowledged that a person my age (he meant young!) being exposed to this level of truth had to feel pretty isolated.

Wait...did I just receive...empathy?

God is way too good sometimes. A deep emotion welled up within me at the thought that somebody trusted my words. It wasn't just God giving me a word without the luxury of defending it -- he presented an ally that had walked before me and was telling me that I'm not crazy.

Since I speak boldly, you may find it hard to believe that this lie crosses my mind. I hold every thought captive to scripture, but the constant rejection of the American church would lead me to believe that I have it all wrong. That it's time to be quiet. That I should let the real ministers speak. That I should just eat my fries and leave it alone...whatever blessing or curse "it" may hold.

I've been reading this week about light. It cannot hide if it desires. Light consumes. It finds darkness and makes itself known. It cannot claim ignorance to things as they are, because light illuminates the truth. Without light, we can pretend a filthy house is clean. Flip the switch and everything changes.

I cannot stop being light. I am light, and my ministry is to darkness. Since I cannot cease being light, I can only snuff my glow by covering it or keeping it from places of darkness. You know that song we grew up with: "This Little Light of Mine?" Remember the verse that says, "Don't let Satan poof it out?"

I call B.S. -- Satan cannot "poof" out my light. Only I can choose to hide God's glory within me. Let's stop giving our enemy credit; his darkness is subject to the authority and consumption of the light of Christ. And let's begin to take responsibility for the light that we also possess as believers and are meant to shine.

I'm thankful that God gave me the grace to listen to John. I'm grateful that He reminds me when I'm being an idiot, and He prevents me from hiding the greatest gift known to man. I need to trust my Jesus and shine this light in a prominent place. Does that scare me? It terrifies my flesh. But Satan must be more frightened than I, otherwise he wouldn't bother persuading me to harness this torch!

I leave you with this ditty:

Go back, baby, the way you came
I made a trail to mark the way
Drops of wine and crumbs of flesh
Hurry back, child, before you're dead

I can't pretend now that you're alive
I know I'm dancing with the dead tonight
Heaving bodies in the front yard lights
They're easing off the glory of the truth denied

This little light of mine
Shine bright and blind the reaper's eyes
Hear you stomping on the tops of pines
We rest as death lays on his knife

The moon ain't pulling at the waves tonight
It's dragging me around just like it drug the tide
Oh, these great hands that pull my life
They drug me outside of y'all's house last night

Where I said, "Pack it up boys. Gather all your stuff.
In this old money town, it's easy to get stuck."
I left the flashlights by the road
And an atlas to follow

This little light of mine
Shine bright and blind the reaper's eyes
Hear you stomping on the tops of pines
We rest as death lays on his knife

"An Atlas to Follow" by Wild Sweet Orange, from We Have Cause to Be Uneasy

lessons from Audrey

As my friend Michael was leaving my house Monday evening, he glanced at the image of Holly Golightly peering through a Tiffany's store window, and asked me, "Why Audrey Hepburn?"

I had been exposed to My Fair Lady as a child, and as a teenager I made the unquestionable mistake of catching Wait Until Dark on a late Saturday evening (talk about sleeping paranoia). However, my real fascination began on a dreary Sunday afternoon during my church internship. Like most viewing areas, South Bend has one of those TV stations that airs a variety of classic movies on weekends. At home by myself, I didn't have to fear ridicule for staying tuned past the opening credits to Roman Holiday.

[Spoiler alert!]

Having become something of an "Audrey apologist" in my mid-20s, I soon realized that the great majority were not mesmerized in the same way that I was. Over the years, I forced at least ten friends to watch Roman Holiday with me at my apartment. Most were kind enough not to openly ridicule my obsession to my face, but I didn't make any believers. A female friend became upset with me for showing her a movie in which the couple didn't end up together. I found no camaraderie until moving to St. Charles, when I caught the eye of some cultured folk wearing my self-constructed "I [heart] Audrey Hepburn" t-shirt.

[The appreciation of Audrey later became a key trait in identifying those within our "indigenous people group," along with liking soup, hating peas, enjoying easy-listening, and being annoyed when people ask if something is wrong.]

Despite the lack of corporate enthusiasm, I continued my fixation, though I had given up trying to sell "it" to people that hadn't found "it" on their own. How do you share with the color blind why the rainbow is captivating? :-)

Anyway, I suppose my deeper association has always been with the character Princess Ann, the dignified -- but unappreciative -- representative of a nation. In a moment of emotional outrage, Ann decides to leave the embassy to explore Italy on her own. She spends the next day doing all of the things she could if she were free from her never-ending responsibilities, and she has a remarkable time doing so. However, in the end she begins to understand that she is needed by her people, and willingly leaves freedom and love behind to return to her crown.

Sure, it's Hollywood, but it kind of feels like the story of my life -- the constant tugging back-and-forth between living as an ambassador for Christ and wanting to serve myself. The world offers me a vacation from it all. I can change my identity, eat gelato, pursue romance, and do so in anonymity. I could retain a temporal state of happiness, and most would encourage it.

But I'd be ignoring those that are depending on me. How could I receive the grace of Christ and not offer my life to reconcile others to Him? How could I be aware of the judgment this world will face and not share the gift of life? Like any associated with a dignitary, I have responsibilities as a child of the Most High God. I must proclaim His renown and represent Him with an honorable life. And should I ever run off to pursue my own interests, my love for His people will always draw me back to my appropriate place.

Before praising Him in heaven, this is the only opportunity I am given to build His kingdom. Many will deny His truth and live according to their own desires, but for those of us refusing this luxury, we must cling to the hope of our eternal reward and serve with joy. We must do everything we can with every minute to demonstrate His glory to a dying world. We must shed light on evil deeds and comfort the broken. Let us represent the kingdom that we have been placed here to represent.

[And you thought this was going to be a shallow post!]

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

As fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says, "In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you." I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor. 5:16-6:2, emphasis added)

lullaby

Now when [Jesus] saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them, saying:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs in the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matt. 5:1-11)

Rejoice and be glad? Even as my prior actions have led me to be poor in spirit, meek, merciful...continually mourning, rejoicing has been the toughest act of obedience. And if we look at the beatitudes, all of these "blessed" ones are demonstrating a state of being. I can not try to be poor in spirit anymore than I can will myself to be pure in heart. These postures are reflections of Christ within us and the pursuit of Him.

But rejoicing necessitates a choice. I can continually mourn that the state of my flesh has shattered, or that the world rejects the things of God, but Jesus is not asking me to rejoice in the brokenness. He would have me take joy in the reward, which is His kingdom -- more specifically, the realm through which I see and know my Father. I lived the first 19 years of my life "happily," and today I struggle to understand how I even rested at night without His presence. Can our lives really become so cluttered that we are unaware of the gaping void in our heart?

This is where I return to my message on the common things. We learn to comfort ourselves with many things that make us happy: entertainment, sexuality, travel, recreational vehicles, home ownership, and the like. None of these are wrong within their proper place, and I long for a couple of them myself. But every piece of my heart that is filled with the comfort of the common things leaves that much less room for His Spirit to dwell. We may not notice the void when our hearts are comforted, but what of worth have we inherited?

I went to Steak n' Shake last night for my own personal comfort: a way to burn time while enduring a night in the battle. Even there, He found me. Four young men (if I should refer to them as such) were harassing an already overwhelmed waitress. The one woman with them was repeatedly being talked down to, and a couple of them casually referred to her with the b-word.

They went out to get a smoke, and the waitress came to attend to me. Having been waited on by her before, I knew that she struggled to do her job well. She sat across from me with exhaustion, and I said, "Take your time; I've got all night." Immediately, a tired smile of relief rested across her face -- she thanked me, and proceeded to do a fantastic job, despite the disrespect of the other party. I left her with a hefty tip, and drove back home.

Is this my life? Is this in what I should be rejoicing? Christ and His disciples regularly interacted with the broken, and ministered to them with joy and compassion. While a good part of my ministry will be mourning in intercession for those God brings my way, I must also learn to rejoice in the privilege of serving in His courts. During my drive home, I reflected upon the dichotomy between life before and after my ruining. I found truth in the words of a song that has often brought me to a place of rest before the Lord:

With eyes so blind
How did I see a single thing?
I missed the scenery
Change in front of me

And as for these hands
Well they've got a lot to answer for
They built me a house of sand
On someone else's land

Deep down I knew I was lost
But I kept my fingers crossed
As if that would somehow rescue me

How did I sleep?
How did I sleep?
How did I sleep?
Without You, without You

Tired all the time
But there is no rest for the wicked
Under the covers I
Pretended not to cry

And there You were
Magnified by the tears
Reaching Your hands to me
Waiting patiently

I never dared to dream
Of the morning my eyes have seen
Awake for the first time: rise and shine

How did I sleep?
How did I sleep?
How did I sleep?
Without You, without You

"How Did I Sleep?" by Tree 63, from The Life and Times of Absolute Truth

another late night drive

My free Monday nights have made it increasingly clear what I accepted when I told God that He could have everything. I enjoy the reckless language of His being "my only inheritance," but within this season, I am learning that He intends me to own this literally.

God has never spoke to me with such richness in my spirit, and I have never felt more alone in my flesh. His presence has been my only sustenance, and I can honestly say that there is nobody on earth in danger of supplanting Him. If not for Him, I would be lost. If not for His presence, these nights would be dreadful. If not for claiming His identity, my life would be worthless.

There is nobody waiting for me to come home at night, and nobody anticipating the sound of my voice. I cannot comprehend what it means for someone to love my heart. But God is finished with my complaints and pleadings -- I am a vessel of reflection. Looking back through years of His preparation, I see that it has always been this way.

I spent high school as "TWAN": the beloved, unofficial mascot of all things Bremen. People loved the mascot. People identified the mascot with state football championships and hometown customer service. But rarely did they want to know my heart. My heart has always been a scary thing: much too quick to love, and much too quick to hurt.

Working the camp season allowed me to be a different sort of mascot. The ministry face to my beloved state was the leader of games, music, sermons, and campfires. The kids loved the mascot. My staff loved the mascot. But they never knew my heart.

Anthony the Barista was a mascot with a skill. A co-worker once deemed me "The Zen Master" due to the hipster cool I demonstrated at the machine. How do I tell those that herald my composure that my heart is a blazing inferno beneath this costume? They loved me even more than those before, but they never knew my heart.

As the Holy Spirit is whittling away every bit of flesh that remains, I am learning what it means to have the attitude of Christ. Paul says in Philippians 2,

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, them make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death -- even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (v. 1-11)

Scripture implies that claiming my identity in Christ is akin to dismissing the very rights that I hold as a man. Without thinking about it, most men would uphold a right to be heard, to be understood, and to be loved. They must consider their own interests in providing for their lives, and for the lives of their family. A good man is praised for his provision and ingenuity.

But this vessel has traded the mascot costume to be clothed by Jesus. Whatever selfish desire I hold to be loved by man (or a righteous woman) is a vain pursuit. If any should know my heart, they will not love me, but the God that overwhelms it. If any should hear my words, they will immediately be directed to Him. Until I find this place, I shall continue exposing myself to His refining fire.

Over the past couple weeks, I have realized that the only person that could know my heart is the one that pleads for the same inheritance. I crave the camaraderie, but in this season, He has given me no one to share this burden. I am confined to my two-bedroom monastery for as long as He chooses. This is incredibly frustrating for my flesh -- every remaining relationship He has granted is for this vessel to minister to those in need, through reconciliation with Christ. I am not allowed to seek co-dependency or comfort through this ministry; I am only to listen, pray, and serve.

Will this season outlast my physical life? It is not mine to know. But for this hour, Jesus is the only one called upon to wipe away my tears, and the Spirit is the only minister that can console my lonely heart. My flesh prays this is merely a test, and my spirit pleads for its eternal home.

For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (2 Cor. 5:4-10)

embracing expressions of His image

I rushed to my locker to complete my homework before English.

"Oh, hey Tom," I said as I half-heartedly found agreement between noun and verb.

"Hey. So I heard you were at the dance last night. Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, better than I thought I would." And I did. My first junior high dance was a nightmare waiting to happen, but everyone treated it so casually. Even the cool girls didn't seem to mind that I didn't have anything nice to wear. "I could see myself going to the next one," I admitted.

"Cool," Tom continued. "I also heard from someone...that you like a girl."

"I do?" This was news to me. While all my guy friends were cycling through a list of two-day romances, I had refrained from sending my own check yes-or-no. I didn't see the point. Besides, I honestly had no idea who Tom could be implying -- before now, I had never been placed in the school rumor feed.

"Yeah, I heard you asked the new girl to dance with you! Do you like her or something? Tough break -- I heard she said no."

This was true, but greatly misleading. I had asked the new girl to dance with me. Being that this was a dance, I had asked every girl to dance with me. The new girl happened to be the only one that said no. Who could blame her? She didn't know me from Adam; we had never even had a conversation. But I certainly didn't give her rejection a second thought, and I definitely did not like her.

"Whatever, man. I just want you to be careful with her; we don't know a thing about her."

Okay, Tom -- thanks for the sincere concern of your gossip. I'll make sure to do that. I'll be careful around a girl that barely knows that I exist. I'll be careful not to notice the way she primly goes about her schoolwork, as if one paper out of place would ruin her day. I'll keep my eyes from wandering towards her bright golden ringlets, that look like they would snap into place should she wade her delicate hands through them. The way she contains her smile with an insecure slant, but her glowing green eyes give away that she's happy? The furthest thing from my mind.

Wait...what just happened?

*************************

Here's my creeper confession: I am fascinated with the female gender. This is aside from the corrupt objectification the world has placed upon women -- everything about them is a wonderful mystery to me. God has blessed(?) me with a paradox-solving mind that continually ticks, and no puzzle has perplexed me more than my relationship with women. Nearly every woman I have met has treated me with joyful acceptance or utter disdain. Men are fully capable of sending me an air of indifference, but I polarize women like a magnet sat in a bed of metal shavings.

I've concluded this is because I am crazy about femininity. Allow me to explain: femininity is not about personality or position; it is a unique expression of our Heavenly Father. I have seen as much femininity in the three-sport athlete as the prom queen. Shy housewives and fiery world travelers alike can demonstrate femininity. The acid-tongued barista has as much right to embrace hers as the bubbly hostess that watches chick-flicks after work. Femininity is not in opposition with individuality -- quite the opposite. Rather, it is the captivating link between women and the God I serve.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why God only gave one gender the physical capacity to harvest life? I have met some bad mothers in my day, but rarely does a woman give birth to a living, breathing human and not immediately be drawn to nurture that child. Men know what it means to take part in reproduction, but it is always a joy meant to be shared with the birth mother. A mother alone understands the joy and hardship of carrying life within her. Why does God limit this blessing to women?

Because despite our culture's resistance to such classifications, women bear an image of their God that men do not. Consider the names and roles attributed to our Father, and we see that God is known as our Creator and our Comforter. No matter how much a man loves his children -- and I anticipate loving my own -- men were meant to reflect a different image of God than these. This is not about employment, power, or pride: that is worldly thinking about worldly pursuits. God desires his fullness to be revealed through human life, through the unique expressions of man and woman, because this demonstrates His glory.

Satan has wanted nothing more since the fall than to rob mankind of this display. He corrupts our understanding of creation, because the devil utilizes every facility that will silence this glory. Our modern justification of homosexuality and birth control do just that. We aim to "liberate" the people around us through tolerance, when in reality we support or engage in functions that produce nothing physically or spiritually. Remember that God is the Author of Life, and that Satan is the thief that steals, kills, and destroys. We think that we are doing humanity a favor by not "placing it in a box"; in reality we have abandoned His glory by rejecting the most blessed expressions of Himself.

Why did God say that it was not good for the man to be alone? (Gen. 2:18) He was created in God's image, and enjoyed the fullness of the presence of God. What could Adam possibly have been lacking?

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

Male and female are specifically designated in this passage, as the image of God is uniquely expressed in both. Why do we reject the idea of man reflecting His Strength, His Protection, and His Romantic Pursuit? Why are we troubled by the idea of woman expressing His Creativity, His Comfort, and His Faithfulness? Who has determined that one expression of God is better than another? Not Him. We covet what we do not have out of pride, and tell God that we know better what we should attain on earth.

I risk being labeled a suppressor or a traditionalist by defending masculine and feminine attributes, but this attitude only derives from what we think we deserve as individuals. Because we presume to know better than His Word, we have made ourselves our god. Are you doing a better job? Has your rejection of God's intent for gender and sexuality made this world a better place? As a culture, we say this is our aim through liberation, but the world is undoubtedly more corrupt than when our ancestors were "suppressed."

I'm not asking that we set out to change culture. I do not fight a physical battle against abortion, birth control, homosexuality, or the rejection of gender roles. Let people make whatever laws they choose; laws reflect the heart of the land. I am much more interested in His glory being restored, and that must begin with the individual. If women are to embrace their femininity, men must step up within their own roles. Women who have felt suppressed or embittered by traditional expressions have done so because men have rejected their privilege to lead, protect, and continually admire and affirm the hearts of wives and children. I believe that God has allowed liberation and feminism because men failed their responsibility to reflect His Glory. He has given the civil right for women to walk away from their abusers. Thank Him for that! But when we use our pain as an excuse to reject the natural expressions of His image, we have done ourselves no favors.

Righteous men are no less in need of God's feminine expression than they were at creation. It is still not good for man (or woman) to be alone. Let us reflect His image and His glory together, embracing the unique characteristics He has given us to bear. Let us not become sidetracked by the ambitions of this world, so as to covet the perception of these expressions according to society. Own your expression with the privilege and purity we have received by grace. Love and affirm the characteristics in one another that speak of His being. Be masculine. Be feminine. Be unashamedly so.

the pretense of community

They devoted themselves to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. (Acts 2:42-47)

Readers, if you have heard this passage glorified within a young adult service, a small group ministry, or a Donald Miller book club, raise your hand. [And all God's people said...]

This generation has made no reservations about its value of community. While families have fallen apart and churches have shown themselves to be corrupt, young people have flocked by the thousands to art districts in the inner cities: meeting as local assemblies at homes, bars, and community-sponsored events. This is the generation of the cause. No cause is too little to "like" on Facebook or send credit card information for a quick donation. We feel good about our involvement; we feel active within our society. And we are totally missing the point as His Church.

I am discovering more and more, with whatever message we "save" the lost, our fruit will produce itself accordingly.

Here's a question: did you notice that I removed portions from the above passage, or are you so inclined to seek this form of community that you became excited with my intro? The good quiz kids may have noticed -- the rest of us received the message as we typically hear it.

[Don't compare my version with the real passage yet -- we'll get there in time.]

Clearly, if our generation is so enamored with the idea of community, it is scratching a need. And don't think the established church hasn't picked up on our hunger: the essence of every alternative ministry and campus taps into our heart for something more personal. They've done the research. Like us, they've determined that community is the end all, be all.

I, for one, am not anti-community. I simply cannot find a place in scripture where we are asked to pursue it. I see plenty of passages asking us to honor Him with our lips, to consecrate our lives, to live in purity, and to seek Christ and His kingdom. None of the beatitudes begin, "Blessed are the community-gatherers." So why have we placed this responsibility upon the church? Because we want it, and we see it manifested in the early church.

"Manifested" is an important word. I choose it over "modeled," because the early church was not modeling anything. It was a new work. There were no seminars or Christian best-sellers to tell them how to devote themselves to fellowship, or why they should give to those in need. They were responding to God the best they knew how. They weren't trying to do something revolutionary; they were following the move of the Spirit, and He moved their hearts.

Why is this an important distinction? True spiritual community is an effect of a move of the Holy Spirit. Any other formation of community is something that man can provide. It does not require the Holy Spirit to call friends over for a meal. There is nothing supernatural about my giving to those in need. I can accept and herald a cause without a single move of God upon my heart. Thus, if the church reforms itself in this manner, we have traded one fleshly work for another.

Allow me to give some context for the passage we adore:

1) God had commissioned his people to be His witnesses.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. (Acts 1:8)

The first thing God asks of the apostles is to wait. They did not begin forming cell groups and meeting to break bread and hand over their possessions. They had no reason to consider that God would ask this without His Spirit.

2) The Holy Spirit fell upon the people at Pentecost.

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. (2:1-4, emphasis added).

As the people were together for the day of Pentecost, we can assume that they were adhering to Jewish Law, as the people celebrated the 50th day after God's deliverance of the people from captivity. How characteristic of God to crash the party with the very sending that would remove our need for the Law! At this moment, the people were empowered and filled with His Spirit, allowing them to discern and manifest spiritual things. We're not given a lot of information as to what the people did before the Holy Spirit arrived, but Luke carefully notes that it was the receiving of the Spirit that allowed for His work to be done, and not man's activity or planning.

3) Peter preached a message of repentance.

When the people heard [the Gospel], they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, "Brothers, what shall we do?"

Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off -- for all whom the Lord our God will call."

With many other words he warned them; and he pleased with them, "Save yourself from this corrupt generation." Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. (2:37-41, emphasis added)

[If you want to throw yourself for a theological loop, consider that these people received the Holy Spirit's baptism before they received the deposit of the Holy Spirit through repentance -- yet, as lost people, they were "cut to the heart" by the Spirit stirring through Peter's words. Good stuff -- He does what He wants.]

The Great Commission was first owned as the Spirit filled the people at Pentecost. As Peter was empowered, he preached Christ's death and resurrection. The people were moved by the Spirit, they accepted the Gospel, and were baptized as those set apart from a corrupt generation. They did not meet in homes and in community to bridge the gap between themselves and society or to evangelize through a modern teaching. They began learning what it meant to be a disciple of Christ.

Now for the payoff:

4) Their community was created by a move of the Spirit, and was sustained by the works of the Spirit.

Let's return to our passage as written.

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42-47)

You want community? Try accomplishing this full passage on your own. Spiritual community is a blessing and privilege that the Holy Spirit bestows among those that receive Him, and not a human pursuit. It is not constructed with human hands, nor is it motivated by human cause. It is the working manifestation of our Lord's Bride. We should be expecting miraculous demonstrations of His power. We should be expecting the Spirit-filled teaching of anointed apostles. We should be expecting the Lord to bring the lost to salvation through the gospel of repentance!

If you do not expect these things, then you have built a mighty fine thing in itself: you have administered a fantastic social club. Within that social club, you can meet people's needs and interact with humans of all sorts. You can tell people how you've founded God's true intent for community, and that they will be loved and supported within your walls -- zero repentance down, with no interest in this lifetime. Your generation loves this stuff. And you can do all these things without ever experiencing Pentecost!

Just don't call yourselves the Church. It's embarrassing.

why purity has nothing (and everything) to do with sex

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ -- to the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9-10, emphasis added)

I float about quite a few Christian blogs, and I'm amazed by the number of articles about purity that centralize on the issue of sex. I suppose that I should not be surprised: if one utters the word "purity" in a secular setting, the assumption is raised that the speaker is referring to the uncommon guarding of one's virginity. Because we are a culture that is fixated with sex, this same connotation is typically assumed in Christian circles as well: whether in regards to intercourse, pornography, or "lesser" sexual pleasures.

There are some circumstances in which sexual purity is specifically addressed in the Greek text (1 Tim. 4:12 and Titus 5:2 for example), but I have to believe that the Holy Spirit can transcend an educated handling of an ancient language to give every believer the proper perspective. We shouldn't have to break out the parallel Bible each time we see "pure" or "purity" to ask ourselves if Jesus, Paul, or Peter are talking about sex.

Despite our obsessions, something much greater is at stake than our sexuality. We have given our hearts to many idols, and each is as certain to kill us as the next. When Paul asks us to be "pure and blameless," he makes it clear that this righteousness can only come from Christ, but this is still to be our aim. If this was nothing more than a decision to remain sexually pure, I would have lived purely and blamelessly my entire life. Trust me -- I haven't. My sexual purity is far from my most difficult act of obedience.

Paul's prayer is that the church would begin to discern on their own how to live blamelessly. He could have written hundreds of these letters and established another law, but it would not have served the church anymore than Moses's Law served Israel. God's intent since creation was that His people -- however He determines "His people" within a particular age -- would manifest His glory through praise and holy living. This is the point of it all. Every act of obedience trails back to this intent. This is why living according to a moral standard or upholding some justice to society is of little use in itself: if that standard does not reflect His glory, we have missed the point. We have drawn attention to our own good deeds, but we have not set ourselves apart for His noble purpose.

It is through the Holy Spirit that we are granted the insight and knowledge to know what is pure. We can listen to the secular world or the church's arguments for or against particular acts, but those abounding in love and intimacy with Christ will not be deceived by that which isn't His best. Again, purity and holiness is not an issue of what is common, or even what the church allows. The pursuit of holiness is the continual shedding of things that are not God -- He does not categorize anything in scripture as "neutral." Are there common acts that do not kill our bodies or grieve the Spirit? Yes. We partake in them everyday. But these same acts bring us no closer to manifesting His glory, and this is the only thing that matters in the end! In abounding in love, purity, and righteousness, He would have these removed as well.

Let us not define purity by what it is not. While certain acts may reflect or speak of our purity, it is less about what we do or abstain from, and more a condition of the heart. This condition is served by our willingness to come before Christ and ask Him to make us clean. The power of His blood has already been poured out upon us. Our struggle in purity is not with this earth. It is a question of lordship: to whom would you give your heart?

God has never been impressed with lip service. Likewise, we can do all the good deeds in the world and neglect the idolatry of our heart. If we say that we serve God, but our lives reflect a different "glory," then we are deceiving ourselves. We have made a god of ourselves (and our "purity"), and have handed ourselves to the lordship of the condemned. How can we claim to love Him and not love the things (and people) that He does? How can we claim to serve Him and never stand in His presence? How can we accept His grace and bear no testimony of a life redeemed? How do we glorify Him with closed mouths?

The pure condition is continually looking for opportunities to demonstrate Him to the world. This is where I conclude that while purity has nothing to do with sex, it in fact has everything to do with sex in this culture. If God would have us be set apart for His purpose, there is no deed more common than sexual obsession. We cannot run from it if we tried. Therefore, what deed more greatly represents the pure heart than a rejection of our culture's obsession? I do not glorify God because I manage to abstain -- anyone can abstain in their flesh. I abstain because it speaks of His truth, which allows me to shed light among a dying world. And this speaks of His glory.

And so do many other things: selflessness, patience, peace, and the like. All of these are products of the clean and blameless life, and cannot be pursued or found outside of the presence of Christ. In seeking purity, we must refrain from cutting out the "middle man," which is in fact the Foundation -- Christ himself! Find purity in the daily richness of His presence, and discern what is good through the depth of His love.

trumping experience with truth

What I am about to share comes from a vulnerable place in my heart, and I pray that God gives me grace as a write this. I also ask for your grace as a reader, as I am writing these words to be understood, and not so that you might jump to conclusions about our friendship. I acknowledge a stronghold in my life that needs to go. It has been sifted to the surface this week, and I knew that this would be a difficult evening. I've sat down to write this three times. I've tried distracting myself by taking a late-night drive. I even did the dishes. This post refused to leave my mind.

Working in residential, the term self-sabotage is used to describe a phenomenon occurring when an unfamiliar string of success comes in conflict with a fear of failure. Commonly, teenagers nearing the end of their treatment will suddenly become fearful of messing up in a way that will let down themselves and others. As a result, many will "sabotage" their progress so that they can start at the bottom again, having something to work towards that they have already accomplished. To bypass the unknown future, they can repeatedly prolong a program in which they have experienced success, rather than fight the battle on the outside where they have previously experienced failure.

After eating dinner with some friends, Byron and I drove home this evening, and we discussed my own form of self-sabotage. (By discussed, I mean that Byron actively listened while I unloaded.) Allow me to paint the lie at its most extreme, so that I can work my way to less absolute terminology:

You will leave me.

This is the lie at its worst; every other issue in my life stems from it to varying degrees. I expect that everyone I care about -- save my biological family, who are emotionally absent -- will discover something about me that will cause them to drop me from their life. Is this rational? Of course, it isn't. Is it founded upon God's identity or truth? Absolutely not. But it's there all the same, and it directs a good number of my most destructive behaviors. The more I care about you, the greater the danger.

Like any lie, it didn't develop overnight. I didn't wake up one morning expecting to be abandoned. In fact, my childhood was quite stable until high school. My dad rode me pretty hard at times, but it never crossed my mind that he would abandon me -- if anything, there were times I considered leaving myself :-\ The first instance I remember was as a freshman, when my best friend of fifteen years began dating a girl with whom I shared a mutual distaste. It wasn't my place to ask him to choose me, so within a year, I had no place in his life. It happens, right? People move on. They make new friends. I do the same, so what's the big deal?

It has been the ten years since graduating college that a good number of loved ones have abandoned me in short order: usually with little notice or for unexplainable reasons -- always with a lack of communication. Many times I have been left waiting for a reply, only to hear through others that a wedge has been built. I have experienced this with two women I expected to marry and a handful of ministry partners. It has occurred enough to conclude that I am the problem.

But it's difficult for me to reflect upon my experiences objectively. I can assume all of the blame, and draw the conclusion that I am inherently bad, but this does not explain what attracts friends to me in the first place or why other "bad people" have companionship. Even aside from the truth of scripture that defies this lie, I don't believe that I am inherently worse than anyone else. What I do believe is that I experienced some painful separation during a formative time in my life, and I have now learned to self-sabotage whenever my relationships find the depth I desire. Thus, if I wasn't the problem initially, I have led myself to be the problem.

My chief defense mechanism is insecurity. Since I find it emotionally draining to continue assuring a loved one that all is well, I can only assume that my own insecurity leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because I expect you to leave, I require constant assurance that you will not. This constant need for assurance can be the nagging arm that pushes you from my life. Inevitably, your word is of little value to the lie anyway, since multiple people aware of my past have promised not to leave -- without prompting -- and have done so anyway. The physical evidence is strong for my pattern of behavior.

This is where I feel stuck. I know exactly what I do, and have a pretty solid understanding as to why. People genuinely care about me, and then they don't. This is the experiential data that doesn't line up with what God says, nor with how He has called me to lead. But the disconnect between God's truth and my experience leaves me in utter confusion. I need your help. I don't need the assurance that you'll never leave -- this is nothing more than empty speech to me. I need your intercession, your words of truth, and a careful handling of my heart. I need to unveil the parent root of my insecurity so that I can stand firm in His truth.

I need you to persist while I journey through my pain. God knows that I'm doing the same for all of you. I know that I'm generally expected to be the strong one, but please, can you help?

During my drive, I was sifting through the Jars marathon in my CD changer, and was moved to tears by these familiar words:

Convinced of my deception, I've always been a fool
I fear this love reaction just like you said I would
A rose could never lie about the love it brings
And I could never promise to be any of those things

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken, growing old
I would be, I would be

Blessed are the shallow -- depth they'll never find
Seems to be some comfort, in rooms I try to hide
Exposed beyond the shadows, You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness; Your pain becomes my peace

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken, growing old
I would be, I would be
I would be, I would be
Frail.

what is protection?

I believe I have deceived my audience. At least twenty references are made in these pages regarding man's responsibility to "protect" women. It is the neglected act from the fall. Had Adam advised Eve to walk away, everything may have changed. I approach protection as the missing link: the characteristic of restored man that will provide a catalyst for the restoration of woman. I only run into one problem in embracing the role of protector:

I haven't the foggiest what I'm talking about in practice.

Don't get me wrong: I know that God has placed the call to protect on my heart. I can affirm that He has given me eyes to see the need for protection at every turn. I also see myself as insecure, clumsy, and clueless. While this seems to be Christ's favorite set of qualifications for His service, a little precedent wouldn't hurt. Can't He provide another man to show me how to do this?

By another man, I mean someone credible. Yes...back to this lie again :-( I want to model my understanding from a married, seasoned, and courageous sort of man that has kissed a girl since the Clinton administration. I'd prefer following someone who has braved his way to the other side of messy romance, and has shown himself to be blameless and worthy as a man after God's heart.

Meanwhile, God wants to perform the impossible through the unlikely. How predictably like Him :-)

Thus, the woman under my protection cannot be one of the usual suspects. She will not resist or fear my intense pursuit, nor will she seize my manhood by way of her own pursuit. She will thoughtfully and prayerfully accept my shield because the Lord has granted me her favor and trust. We will wade through the fog together, discerning what the heck God is doing in our own frightfully awkward fashion.

As two 20-year-old kids in over our heads, a female friend and I braved the NYC streets in search of a late night cheeseburger. As we approached a dark alleyway on the returning stroll, I felt the sharp grasp of a tiny hand upon the underside of my right bicep. Sure, it was merely an involuntary, physical response from my friend's sudden bout with fear. However, something in her clutch felt deeply natural, as if an unknown goodness in my masculinity was being validated. It wasn't by pride that I enjoyed the remainder of that walk. I felt alive in radiating His protection over creation.

If something so common can foster my leadership, how much would God loosen my insecurity by entrusting me with the heart of my beloved? I will surely be overcome by a fierce awareness of the enemy's schemes should she admit to finding security in my words and touch. Like a lion, I would chase every predator that Satan would send for her heart.

At the beginning and end of every day -- with hands held in front of us -- we will thank our Maker for one more day of His grace upon one another, and I will ask for one more filling of His strength. We will live each day in the joy of His presence and laugh at the days ahead.

on the dangerous slope of a "sexed" world

I was wrestling with the question of whether to post this: I have an extremely unshakable prompting to, yet even now I fear that these words may be misconstrued or personalized. This is not written for anyone in particular, though I expect that someone in particular will need to hear these words. It is not mine to decide who this rests upon. I must be willing to live with this…

Not so long ago in the scope of history (12 years ago, to be precise), I lived in a less “sexed” world. Shirts were lengthy or often tucked in. Pants rode at or above the waistline, doing little to accentuate any particular area. The internet was only in a small sample of wealthy homes, thus one had to intentionally set out to buy or view sexually explicit content. Because of this, a large number of people not having sex had little reason or opportunity to be distracted by it.

Sure, I was relatively innocent for an 18-year-old…but I was still an 18-year-old; there was nothing abnormal or underdeveloped in regards to my adolescent hormones. I was not naïve -- I knew that many of my peers were sexually active, but growing up in a small Midwestern town, I certainly didn’t have any reason to believe that remaining sexually pure was abnormal.

Our culture had a paradigm shift over the next four years -- many of you under the age of 25 may not even be aware that another world existed. It happened quickly and forcefully. This world (whether desiring of it or not), became fixated with sex.

We could attribute this shift to many subtle changes: dress, entertainment, political tolerance, and the like. But these changes had been occurring for years, and each generation had admonished its children during these progressions, to the gradual extent that the original cautions would seem silly and prudish to us today. So while these changes may demonstrate the shift and may have accelerated during this four year stretch, they are not exclusively representative of this four year period.

Rather, I care to focus on the events from 1997-2001 that serve as landmarks for the sexed world we live in today:

1. Dial-up internet became prevalent in private residences; colleges and universities began to install high-speed networks.
2. Globalization among strangers occurred, as a result of chat rooms and instant messaging
3. In these four short years, the pornography industry increased its clientele from those willing to shop adult bookstores to those willing to click an internet link in the privacy of their own home. (I want you to take a second and grasp the implications of this simple matter of access. This single-handedly changed the world for millions of people…practically overnight.)
4. The tale end of this era brought about the cell phone craze, which along with some of the other technological advances previously mentioned, allowed people to become more emotionally intimate at a quicker rate, without the natural in-person barriers that would have previously prevented this level of intimacy. Whether or not you recognize it, this is a BIG deal, and largely responsible for the dysfunction of many 21st century relationships.
5. Increased rates of divorce and unmarried inhabiting among Baby Boomers led to a general distrust and dysfunction of relationships among the next generation, providing very few good models of appropriate sexual behavior.

These are events that cannot be undone. Technology rarely works backwards. Innocent eyes are not easily restored. Working through the pain of your family unit does not happen overnight.

So the easier coping mechanism is cold justification. This generation’s moral relativism is not solely a response of rebellion to our parent’s authoritarian “truth,” it is also a means by which we push aside our past. Some of us have only been casual participants in this paradigm shift, and by causal participants, I mean victims. Others have participated willingly to various degrees. The expectations of living in this sexed world have placed us under its own version of absolute truth (which is absolute deception) -- that we can “move on” from painful sexual experiences without resolution and healing, that we can indulge in sexual desire without emotionally engaging, and that any man or woman has the right to view another in a sexual manner without their consent or at the expense of emotionally manipulating the other party. Any man or woman can speak as if this behavior is common and acceptable, but who of them are void of this pain? This is our world…the fact that this is perceived as normal literally makes me ill.

So why should this bother me? Why should I be given a burden and passion for helping the world work through this mess? After all, I am a part of an extremely microscopic percentage: a 30-year-old virgin in a sex crazed world. I cannot directly answer this question. However, I have the unique perspective of objectively seeing the pain -- to watch my friends, family, brethren, and co-workers dance around the issue: unable to explain their own misery, yet completely bound to the mishaps of their sexual past. I am certainly by no means without blame in this area as well; I can only thank God for His grace that has kept me from greater pain (and has granted me freedom from my past), for it is not through my own strength that I remain pure in some regards.

Any man or woman can attempt to will themselves towards appropriate relationships in the future, but regardless of what we desire, our experiences shape our future decisions. Patterns of behavior become patterns because the initial wound is still open. My heart breaks for the wonderful women in my life that continue to enter dysfunctional relationships because of these experiences. It becomes a downward spiral: sexual pain leads to an expectation of hurt which is covered by layers of emotional scars. Scars that say, “I won’t get close enough for this person hurt me,” or in contrast, “I can choose to not let sex get personal.” Neither leads to eventual healing.

It will be tempting for some of you to fake that there isn’t really a problem -- that a free and casual sexual lifestyle fulfills your needs. I challenge you to cut through the excrement. Still others that acknowledge their pain will be tempted to writhe in guilt…hear me today: this is not my purpose. I do not desire to place myself on a spiritual pedestal or remind you of things that are past or forgiven. I share these words to offer a change from the pattern.

Since I believe that utilizing politics in inadequate and irrelevant to changing hearts, transforming our minds from the commonality of the sexed world is solely on us. We cannot expect the culture to change for us. We must determine in our own lives to live according to a greater standard. I do not hide the fact that my motivation for sexual purity is to live according to the righteousness of Christ. This is not a burden or a “law” placed upon me, for I have willingly accepted a lifestyle that protects me from the pain of what I consider to be sin. This word is strong for some of you…already you may want to discard the message.

But there is nothing in this world that would have me believe that we have been bettered as a society through a less Biblical approach to sexuality. If you care to reject the authoritarian way in which the message of abstinence was previously approached, by all means do so. However, you will be hard pressed to argue any “good” in the rejection of the abstinence message. Step aside from your biases for a second and gaze at the world. Hear the stories of the hurting and watch the faces of the walking dead. In the truth of the ugliness, there is freedom.

a tale of two covenants

Imagine that I promised you the most amazing gift in the world, and you were given the right to receive it up front -- say, a golden ring, for example. Now suppose that having received this gift, you felt entitled to use it however you'd like, and chose to melt the gold to fashion a grill for your teeth. Consider the transaction that may occur the next time we ran into one another: you might smile widely and attempt to convince me that you've created something much better. Would I have cause to be angry or offended, or is the use of my gift of little relevance to its honor?

*************************

The Pharisees were constantly plotting against Jesus to trap him in some form of lawful blasphemy. On one such occasion, they broached a topic that is still debated today:

Some Pharisees came to [Jesus] to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."

Jesus replies, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it. (Matthew 19:1-12, emphasis added)

This is not going to be a post about divorce, though I have much to say on the church's treatment of the matter -- particularly in regards to women. Perhaps this is another post for another day. Rather, I want to focus on Christ's acknowledgment that a practice was allowed that was not intended in God's covenant. Moses provided a compromise because the people's hearts were evil, as they would have likely left their wives with or without the permission of the Law.

I force myself to wrestle with passages such as these. If God created marriage to operate in a specifically holy fashion, why would we be allowed to make our own rules? Jesus is clearly not in the business of promoting this compromise, as he reestablishes the covenant given by the Father. Though the teaching is hard, we are not granted excuses for changing the covenant. Rather, Jesus informs his disciples that man should choose the righteous life that he is willing to accept.

With Christ's institution of the new covenant, we must recognize that His covenant with the Church and God's covenant of marriage are intrinsically linked. And just as each covenant was designed to operate in the same manner -- man devotedly leading his wife, just as Christ leads the Church -- both are prone to the same corruption, including in this present age. Thus I began to wonder: if corruption was permitted in the days of Moses because man's heart was evil, has the same occurred with His Bride, with our most common justification being that it has always been allowed?

This I know for sure: hundreds of years passed between the time of Moses and the life of Christ, and men were not condemned for practicing divorce under the conditions that Moses gave. Today's church operates with an easier teaching than those presented by Paul in Ephesians 4-5 and permits the brotherhood of those living in darkness, because we chose to corrupt our holy assembly as an infomercial for the lost -- dare I say, because our hearts were evil. We can rest our laurels on practices the church established before our time, but Christ is not interested in justifying traditions that compromise His covenant.

The good news is, just as God has no intent of scrapping His covenant of marriage, Christ's covenant has set apart one means by which His glory is to be radiated: His Church. Do not assume that because He has not discarded His promise that He is pleased with our corruption. But He intends to present Her as holy and blameless, and this will require a return to His original covenant. We cannot present ourselves according to our compromises or convince Him that our tradition predates His desire. The Bride built upon His foundation is the one He wants, and if we cannot accept the "hard" teaching that He has given, we may as well not accept His covenant at all.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure, or greedy person -- such a man is an idolater -- has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore, do not be partners with them.

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:

"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

Be very careful, then, how you live -- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church -- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery -- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5)