spiritual amnesia

Hi. My name is Anthony, and I'm struggling with faith.

This may not seem tragic. I know many who have distrusted God and lived to tell about the redemption. I know I've had many doubts before, but they've always been accompanied by a vicious pursuit towards obedience. Even when following with resistance, I have always done so, because He has always shown Himself to be worthy of my trust. My life has been a running history of "God came through" kind of moments. So faith has traditionally been the least of my struggles.

It's my apathy that concerns me. I've never been one to coast. But now, a part of me is ready to give up.

Byron and I met for Bible study today, and the common theme was thanksgiving. We sorted through some Psalms, and Byron was taken by the number of times the writer recounts the history of God's redemption. He was there in Egypt. He was there before entering Canaan. He fought off the Philistines. The Israelites had a way of forgetting where they had come from, and who brought them to their current place. Giving thanks in recounting God's previous redemption gave them courage in active despair.

This has been missing in my life. I've forgotten where I've come from, and who brought me here. I haven't thanked Him for my salvation, for years of ministry that has produced righteous men and women, or for the way He provided a body when I was laboring solo...twice.

Thanks to God for His wondrous work in my life! Thanks to Him for rescuing me from my shame! Thanks for abundant life! Thanks for a family tree of spiritual descendants!

Thank you Jesus, for your love and healing arms of comfort :)