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A wonderful ally, and the source of my rebellion: it prompts my heart to long, and harbors corruption. This is the battle for my mind.

Intelligent, expressive, and brilliantly creative, God has blessed me with an advanced processor. The same machine that loads this content can produce lies, envy, and deceitful games. It spins without ceasing, filtering the thief's deadly virus from the Programmer's perfect code. On days like these, I would prefer to shut down, but this does nothing to exhibit the Creator's intent for my design.

How I long for my heavenly body -- how I grieve for the home I've never seen! The world I reject is at my fingertips for the taking, and the kingdom I crave is never close enough. This is my healthy ache: never being satisfied until I am forever in His courts. I want to touch His hands and side to be captivated by the depths of His love. I want to praise with the heavenly hosts forever, and never stop honoring Him as Lord.

Why must I be distracted with temporal desires? Why must I endure vain movements of my heart? If everything physical will cease with the packing of this tent, why should I entertain a bond of flesh? In what manner might He be glorified in my longing that wouldn't better be displayed by undivided service? Why make this ground more livable?

I concede I know nothing apart from His revelation. He's wired me for untested functions, and I fear failure at the expense of being useful and operational. It is not through human reason that I comprehend why He won't just let me be.

Perhaps I am nothing but a symbol: a pure and holy model of created man. Ruined and rejected, yes, but I am readily available to call each ripe heart to its Lifeline. If each system boot hastens my wear and tear, I pray no flesh remains with the final current. I pray this box proves faithful to the end. I ask for my disposal to be a joyful sending, to my only home and Love.