God's first account of love

The woman I was determined to marry trapped me with a question:

"Do you believe God has chosen one woman for every man?"

These days, I would ponder such a question too deeply; nine years ago, I considered no risk. I confidently replied, "No, God's divine will has never depended on the obedience of one person, so He wouldn't allow His child to miss 'the one' because one party opted to walk away." I spoke my peace with all the wisdom of an aspiring youth pastor.

A month later, she opted to walk away. I was devastated. I had never been more sure of anything. I had hoped to give my heart out once, and now I was relegated to live according to my own philosophy. Life spinned out of control. If a relationship can end without regard to my own investment, how could I be expected to endure it again?

Then [Abraham's servant] prayed, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I'll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”

Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor. The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.”

“Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.

After she had given him a drink, she said, “I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful. (Genesis 24:12-21)

Over the next several years, I developed a reputation for sound relationship advice. I attempted to construct the wisest terms for marriage and became skeptical of relationships that advanced outside of my standardized blessing. I sincerely believed I was doing young people a favor by helping them avoid unhealthy relationships. In reality, I wanted to ensure that they would never experience my unresolved pain.

Restoring my heart has been painstaking, but God has been faithful. For all the discernment He has allowed me in knowing His will, He hasn't granted me an ounce of assurance that the next woman will remain faithful to her word. As much as I might purpose my own heart to serve her righteously, I can only place hope in His Spirit that my choice will be honorable to Him. So much weighs in the balance, and I am offered no guarantees.

Then [the servant] and the men who were with him ate and drank and spent the night there.

When they got up the next morning, he said, “Send me on my way to my master.”

But her brother and her mother replied, “Let the girl remain with us ten days or so; then you may go.”

But he said to them, “Do not detain me, now that the Lord has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master.”

Then they said, “Let's call the girl and ask her about it.” So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?”

“I will go,” she said. (v. 54-58)

Truth is, I can do everything in my power to present myself as worthy, but I am still subject to the purpose of another Godly heart. God's call upon my life is limiting: I have nothing to offer the woman seeking the stability or security of this age. I can only lend my love and protection, holding faith for a righteous woman's grace. Not a strategy in the world can pluck the control from His hands -- He alone can grant me success in my journey.

[Isaac] went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?”

“He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.

Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. (v. 63-67)