"Oh, hey Tom," I said as I half-heartedly found agreement between noun and verb.
"Hey. So I heard you were at the dance last night. Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah, better than I thought I would." And I did. My first junior high dance was a nightmare waiting to happen, but everyone treated it so casually. Even the cool girls didn't seem to mind that I didn't have anything nice to wear. "I could see myself going to the next one," I admitted.
"Cool," Tom continued. "I also heard from someone...that you like a girl."
"I do?" This was news to me. While all my guy friends were cycling through a list of two-day romances, I had refrained from sending my own check yes-or-no. I didn't see the point. Besides, I honestly had no idea who Tom could be implying -- before now, I had never been placed in the school rumor feed.
"Yeah, I heard you asked the new girl to dance with you! Do you like her or something? Tough break -- I heard she said no."
This was true, but greatly misleading. I had asked the new girl to dance with me. Being that this was a dance, I had asked every girl to dance with me. The new girl happened to be the only one that said no. Who could blame her? She didn't know me from Adam; we had never even had a conversation. But I certainly didn't give her rejection a second thought, and I definitely did not like her.
"Whatever, man. I just want you to be careful with her; we don't know a thing about her."
Okay, Tom -- thanks for the sincere concern of your gossip. I'll make sure to do that. I'll be careful around a girl that barely knows that I exist. I'll be careful not to notice the way she primly goes about her schoolwork, as if one paper out of place would ruin her day. I'll keep my eyes from wandering towards her bright golden ringlets, that look like they would snap into place should she wade her delicate hands through them. The way she contains her smile with an insecure slant, but her glowing green eyes give away that she's happy? The furthest thing from my mind.
Wait...what just happened?
*************************
Here's my creeper confession: I am fascinated with the female gender. This is aside from the corrupt objectification the world has placed upon women -- everything about them is a wonderful mystery to me. God has blessed(?) me with a paradox-solving mind that continually ticks, and no puzzle has perplexed me more than my relationship with women. Nearly every woman I have met has treated me with joyful acceptance or utter disdain. Men are fully capable of sending me an air of indifference, but I polarize women like a magnet sat in a bed of metal shavings.
I've concluded this is because I am crazy about femininity. Allow me to explain: femininity is not about personality or position; it is a unique expression of our Heavenly Father. I have seen as much femininity in the three-sport athlete as the prom queen. Shy housewives and fiery world travelers alike can demonstrate femininity. The acid-tongued barista has as much right to embrace hers as the bubbly hostess that watches chick-flicks after work. Femininity is not in opposition with individuality -- quite the opposite. Rather, it is the captivating link between women and the God I serve.
Have you ever stopped to wonder why God only gave one gender the physical capacity to harvest life? I have met some bad mothers in my day, but rarely does a woman give birth to a living, breathing human and not immediately be drawn to nurture that child. Men know what it means to take part in reproduction, but it is always a joy meant to be shared with the birth mother. A mother alone understands the joy and hardship of carrying life within her. Why does God limit this blessing to women?
Because despite our culture's resistance to such classifications, women bear an image of their God that men do not. Consider the names and roles attributed to our Father, and we see that God is known as our Creator and our Comforter. No matter how much a man loves his children -- and I anticipate loving my own -- men were meant to reflect a different image of God than these. This is not about employment, power, or pride: that is worldly thinking about worldly pursuits. God desires his fullness to be revealed through human life, through the unique expressions of man and woman, because this demonstrates His glory.
Satan has wanted nothing more since the fall than to rob mankind of this display. He corrupts our understanding of creation, because the devil utilizes every facility that will silence this glory. Our modern justification of homosexuality and birth control do just that. We aim to "liberate" the people around us through tolerance, when in reality we support or engage in functions that produce nothing physically or spiritually. Remember that God is the Author of Life, and that Satan is the thief that steals, kills, and destroys. We think that we are doing humanity a favor by not "placing it in a box"; in reality we have abandoned His glory by rejecting the most blessed expressions of Himself.
Why did God say that it was not good for the man to be alone? (Gen. 2:18) He was created in God's image, and enjoyed the fullness of the presence of God. What could Adam possibly have been lacking?
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)Male and female are specifically designated in this passage, as the image of God is uniquely expressed in both. Why do we reject the idea of man reflecting His Strength, His Protection, and His Romantic Pursuit? Why are we troubled by the idea of woman expressing His Creativity, His Comfort, and His Faithfulness? Who has determined that one expression of God is better than another? Not Him. We covet what we do not have out of pride, and tell God that we know better what we should attain on earth.
I risk being labeled a suppressor or a traditionalist by defending masculine and feminine attributes, but this attitude only derives from what we think we deserve as individuals. Because we presume to know better than His Word, we have made ourselves our god. Are you doing a better job? Has your rejection of God's intent for gender and sexuality made this world a better place? As a culture, we say this is our aim through liberation, but the world is undoubtedly more corrupt than when our ancestors were "suppressed."
I'm not asking that we set out to change culture. I do not fight a physical battle against abortion, birth control, homosexuality, or the rejection of gender roles. Let people make whatever laws they choose; laws reflect the heart of the land. I am much more interested in His glory being restored, and that must begin with the individual. If women are to embrace their femininity, men must step up within their own roles. Women who have felt suppressed or embittered by traditional expressions have done so because men have rejected their privilege to lead, protect, and continually admire and affirm the hearts of wives and children. I believe that God has allowed liberation and feminism because men failed their responsibility to reflect His Glory. He has given the civil right for women to walk away from their abusers. Thank Him for that! But when we use our pain as an excuse to reject the natural expressions of His image, we have done ourselves no favors.
Righteous men are no less in need of God's feminine expression than they were at creation. It is still not good for man (or woman) to be alone. Let us reflect His image and His glory together, embracing the unique characteristics He has given us to bear. Let us not become sidetracked by the ambitions of this world, so as to covet the perception of these expressions according to society. Own your expression with the privilege and purity we have received by grace. Love and affirm the characteristics in one another that speak of His being. Be masculine. Be feminine. Be unashamedly so.
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