What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.I struggle to see things aside from what is black and white; how do I know the difference between the desires He places on my heart and those constructed through worldly motives?
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.”
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:1-10)
As my work has consumed my emotional energy of late, I've noticed my desire for anything of my own has remarkably dwindled. This has occurred at least three times in my life -- when I offer myself solely to the needs of others, I no longer feel grief for what I lack. But I've yet to determine if this is good or holy...
I don't want to serve others purely as a distraction, nor should I kill my flesh so that I cannot feel. It's hard, because this method has its use. When I forget myself entirely, I deny the reality that I long for certain blessings; I feel the fulfillment of serving without the vulnerability of possessing worldly things.
However, this passage bewilders me. James appears to be encouraging us to mourn for the hopelessness of the world so that God can lift us with joy and blessings of His own. Hence the enigma of v. 2-3: how do we know when we should be asking for the blessings He desires to bestow and when to deny the lustful requests that our own hearts have fabricated?
Anybody have a word out there?
3 comments:
I think you can take it back to the Word... What is it you desire?
Is it the new amazing vehicle you wish you had?
This is not biblical. He calls us to be heavenly minded, and not envious or covetous over material objects.
Is it a wife you desire?
This is Biblical. God said it is not good for man to be alone (and this He said before the Fall 0f man). Man and Woman were made to work together.
I was talking with a friend the other day and we were talking about the glory of God that is to come, which led us to a conversation about the mourning that takes place in life when things take place that were never meant to take place in God's creation. Death is a great example of something that this world was not originally designed for, as was being alone.
We were designed to be in fellowship with God, but even when Adam had unhindered fellowship with God, He still made Eve.
So often in today's single Christian society people say, "you just need to be in the place of only needing Jesus." Which I believe is a place God does call us to, but I don't believe it is the way He originally designed it to be. If this were the case, then Eve wasn't even really needed in the whole creation thing (He could have just had us reproduce like worms).
So, all that to say... I think you know, deep down, the difference between asking for a blessing and the "lustful requests of your own heart."
Were you created by God to desire it?
Sometimes, even pain brings us back to the place of recognizing that we are alive and we are not numb.
Hmm...I wish I could see it so precisely. This is what makes it cloudy: I recognize that when I do not spend my time around couples, I do not covet a wife.
The three times I've felt least concerned about being alone (early college, my year in KC, this current season), I spent the majority of my time around singles. So I also don't buy the "you just need to be in the place of only needing Jesus" mantra -- there have been many seasons when He's all I've had and all I've desired. But since my desire for a wife feels so conditional, I question whether my desire isn't envy by comparison as opposed to a truly Godly desire.
I do not doubt that God would have me marry, but I do think the line between desire and envy is more grey than believing that because God instituted marriage that such a desire is anointed. This is certainly true if done for His glory. But what of desiring it for my own comfort, and only noticing the desire when I am uncomfortable? Is this desire Godly?
I wonder whether I would desire to be married if nobody else was, which seems a bit more worldly than kingdom minded.
Anthony,
If I may give you something new to chew on, let me point you to Hebrews chapter 11 where I was recently challenged at a Bible conference to see a new facet of faith. In verse 23, we see Moses's parents hiding their baby because they saw that he was beautiful and because they were not afraid of the king's commandment. Now, every parent would have felt like their child was beautiful. So how is this faith? Faith is easy to see when it runs contrary to nature. When a person acts in ways that seem like madness. But the command of God doesn't always oppose natural affection. Sometimes our faith aligns with our natural desires.
There is nothing wrong with desiring to keep your baby, or with desiring a wife. And if God has given you an assurance that He has a wife chosen for you, then walk in the faith that He will bring her to you at the perfect time. Moses's parents had the faith to hide him despite pharaoh's decree. The sense of the original is that the baby was well favored by God.
You'll also notice in the record that when Moses was three months old, his parents could no longer hide him. God's plan had diverged from their natural desires and they followed in faith, placing Moses in a basket (which reminds us of the ark) on the Nile. Moses was in God's hands just as much on the Nile as he had been in his parents' house.
Hebrews tells us that Moses's parents weren't just selfishly trying to keep their child when other parents were losing theirs. They hid him by faith.
To your question in the previous comment, would you desire to be married if nobody else was, I think you would. You might not understand the desire so well if you had never seen another couple, but that desire is not in itself worldly. Being around couples brings the desire to the forefront of your mind, which is natural. I can forget my similar longings at times, but watching a married couple will usually bring my desire for a husband to the surface. At the same time, even while I'm longing for the day when God brings my husband to me, I have faith that He will do it. Faith is the evidence of things not seen, after all!
I don't know how much of this will help you, or if I've made myself clear, but I trust God can make Himself understood even through the faultiest of vessels.
~Homeschool Graduate
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