One truth I’ve grown to understand is that our enemy does not create. Satan would have us believe that he has ownership of the finer things and nothing could be further from the truth. He’s the quintessential rip-off artist: introducing something valuable as if he’s the author, attempting to sell it hastily at a discount, finally leading us to believe that we’d be crazy to walk away from what we “deserve.” It’s usually too late before we realize that the rip-off had nothing on the original.
When it comes to identifying our purpose, Satan loves for us to become so absorbed by self that we dismiss the spiritual objective. I decided a few years ago to cease administering spiritual gift inventories. Many claim to find usefulness in these questionnaires; I’ve seen them do more harm than good. Like other leadership branding devices, they aim to direct us towards our individual purpose within an established work. Though the results typically verify the obvious, humans have the disagreeable tendency to covet a spiritual identity outside the gifts’ intended use: as a loving service to others.
Paul addresses our potential for “gift corruption” in 13:1-3. The outward gift manifested for the sake of one’s self is nothing but insensitive noise. Whether we define our spiritual gifts or not, our ministry has been authored by our Father, as His children and as ambassadors of Christ. Our identity rests in this mind-blowing privilege rather than any individual manifestation that elevates our position. A gift exercised to build or preserve one’s esteem can only result in corruption.
…Especially in a day when so much emphasis and so much pressure is put on us to esteem ourselves, I kind of go, wow -- I don’t know how anyone can wake up with morning breath and pillow head and feel any self-esteem. That is not the sort of thing I want to put my faith in. And in the church… it is unbelievable to me that this whole foolishness about esteeming yourself has leaked into the church. I kind of go “Christ didn’t ask us to esteem ourselves.”You may ask, “If we are to forget ourselves in regards to gifts, how are we to develop them?” We must bear in mind that just as spiritual gifts are offered by the Holy Spirit, they are exercised when walking in the Spirit. I’m reminded of this passage:
I think if Christ were asked, I think he’d probably say, “Look buddy, you would be lucky if you could forget yourself. If you could lose yourself, you would be luckier than if you found yourself.” It would be wonderful if you knew the names of the trees between your house and where you work, between your house and your church. If you knew that that was a tulip tree ad you knew that that was a red bud. It would be great if you knew something about your neighbors. It would be a lucky thing if you forgot yourself, if you lost yourself.
-- Rich Mullins
We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. We will know by this that we are of the truth, and we will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight. (1 John 3:16-22, emphasis added)Our gifts are made known through love, sacrifice, and diligence, and we are able to make requests to our Father in full confidence once our hearts align with His. We mustn’t study the spiritual gifts for self-discovery, but for an understanding of their use; we will learn and know the Spirit’s inclinations on a particular heart through action. As we minister in love, the gifts become fully evident, for it is Christ (and not the corruption) that manifests the personal leanings within us. The pure Church begins to trust and accept the gifts we find in one another, having the luxury of associating these blessings to the God who moved us to minister.
In summary, it is by obedience to His work rather than standardized evaluation that we identify His offerings. For both you and I, these proclivities are subject to corruption when exercised in our flesh for personal gain or preservation. Herein lies the dichotomy of the two choices God has laid before me. The next few posts will expose my fears one at a time.
*************************
GIFT #1: APOSTLE -- A life of sacrifice vs. a life of isolation
2nd grading period: ‘Anthony is doing better at paying attention and getting his work done and turned in, but every several weeks, he quits again and I get after him. He has SO much ability.’23 years later, I can’t help but think I’m still that frustrating kid. Throughout elementary school I managed to be one of my teachers’ favorites while requiring continual discipline. They knew it wasn’t personal -- the same mind that they loved was incapable of being contained within the four walls of a classroom. Writing, reading, illustrating, socializing… any activity that developed my mind outside the prescribed regiment was infinitely more interesting. When a kid isn’t doing the required work, how do you convince him to complete the task without discouraging the learning drive that serves as its greatest distraction?
3rd grading period: ‘Anthony continues to work well. He is doing better in controlling his talking and his organizational skills. I’m pleased with his progress. What a guy!’
4th grading period: ‘I’ve enjoyed keeping after Anthony this year! I’ll miss his wit and intelligence next year. He is one in a million. His mind is constantly spinning.’
-- Mrs. Reed and Mrs. O‘Connor, 4th grade teachers
Mrs. Reed was perceptive enough to accelerate me following the first quarter. She had to make it a game. In anticipation of our school’s new honors program, I was asked to complete 4th grade grammar and English in two weeks. She stacked hundreds of worksheet packets on my desk and asked me to finish them by the deadline. By presenting a challenge, Mrs. Reed elicited some untapped diligence. The majority of my teachers were never willing to deviate and only aimed to fix me. Life has been a continual struggle to convince myself that I was never broken.
My discipler Terry once said that dormant apostles are most easily found in jail. I’ve since come to believe this. In its deepest corruption, the foundational question “why?” can lead to rebellion or a complete disregard for authority. It’s not that apostles think they’re always right, but they are always willing to investigate whether something could be wrong. A good church historian would admit that the greatest moves of God have occurred when one of His men were willing to investigate.
My own spiritual journey began with investigation:
- What if I could experience more of God’s presence than what I’ve found in the grandest worship setting?
- Why are many kids raised in the church biblically illiterate and spiritually apathetic?
- Who’s responsibility is it to make disciples?
- If the lost aren’t among us, where are they, and why aren’t we with them?
- Since Jesus speaks of His Kingdom in black and white, why did we determine that varying levels of commitment are acceptable?
- Where is the narrow road -- why do few find it?
- What is purity? What is grace?
My roommate is into politics. A lot. This is not such an awful thing, but should he recognize the flaws on both sides of the political aisle, he would continue to invest his life in making America better. For me, this seems fruitless, but it seems fruitless because I do not love America as he loves America. Reforming the political system is of little consequence to me. My roommate pleads for change because something he loves is at risk. Therefore, it is not those who desire reformation, but those apathetic about its corruption that demonstrate disregard.
The most unloving act is to invest nothing in a growing relationship. Should our defense for the church rest purely out of preservation rather than love, we will see no improvement. The one that loves the church will accept nothing less of His bride than Her intent: to reveal the glory of God to all creation. This is my heart, and I'm recognizing that the dramatic line between love and rebellion is His Spirit. I’ve watched many with apostolic hearts fall to bitterness or pride; in our flesh, the enemy wants us to exert so much energy convincing others we are right that we disregard the diligence required to build on a good Foundation. As a result of His call on my life, I’ve embraced a minimalist lifestyle and been willing to leave friends and family to do the work He has called me to do. I share this as a grace -- God alone has given me a fondness for travel and exploration that allows me to endure a sometimes lonely existence.
While my loneliness is not a sin, employing it is a crutch or an excuse has been. If I love Jesus (and as an extension, His Bride) enough to offer everything I possess for His kingdom, this is for the sake of others and not myself. I cannot boast of my humble situation as an unwilling martyr, as if God is forcing me to make these sacrifices and those who have not are horrible Christians. Rather, I must remain joyfully obedient to whatever He asks of me, in grace and privilege that He would invite me at all, and call others according to the Word He has given us.
I struggle with this. When I face rejection on account of the call, my knee-jerk reaction is to flee to Tarshish like Jonah or refute the opportunity for a pure assembly like Elijah. The same heart that allows me to move to the center of God’s work with little discomfort permits me to run solo whenever it has been hurt or denied. Satan is so quick to convince me that I‘m a victim, because this drives a wedge between God’s will and His sovereignty. When things do not turn out as they should because of iniquity or disobedience, I forget that He redeems. I want to disqualify those who ignored His call because they disqualified me. Let me tell you, friends: whenever we take ministerial pain personally, subtly waiting is the open door to bitterness.
Again, here’s the Spirit-led line: God wants us to grieve His peoples' sin. The greatest rebuke He had against the Jewish priesthood was that they disregarded the corruption because physical needs were being met. That’s a direct correlation to where we are as an American church; most of us wouldn’t even argue that. But whereas my flesh is ready to strike the rock out of frustration like Moses, God would have me chasten the believers in my life and offer the opportunity for repentance. Will all repent? No. Allow Christ to separate them from the fold. Trust me, if you begin doing the things that Christ has asked of you in scripture and continue calling them to the same life, it won’t take long for the complacent to feel mighty uncomfortable in His presence. The complacent dwell wherever it is permitted.
In a perfect world, I would never have to ask anything of anyone -- everyone would minister according to their own gifts without lesson or frustration. I could leap into new works without the fear of rejection or ridiculously foolish justification of my “friends.” Step one for embracing my gift is accepting that Jesus knew my world wasn’t perfect before He called me. He’s bigger than my obstacles.
No comments:
Post a Comment