dreams

There are two difficulties that caution me from sharing the dreams that God has laid on my heart:

1. Acknowledging my dreams forces me to hope, which leaves me vulnerable to disappointment. (lack of faith)
2. Hoping out loud holds me accountable to loved ones that challenge my growth. (lack of healthy dependence)

Likewise, I recognize the misery incurred within an aimless lifestyle. If I wait for my whims and feelings to align with God's heart, I'm reminded that God has an abundant supply of "wilderness" through which I can tread two or three times. I'd like to avoid that where simple obedience and diligence could spare me the mileage.

So contrary to the interest of my self-preservation, I will dare to hope:

My heart is that God will be glorified. He does not offer us dreams without intending to demonstrate Himself. A dream solely for my own satisfaction is one pursued in vain. I hope that the fulfillment of each dream will graciously reveal His love, His character, and His truth. He has granted me no greater privilege than to live as a beacon of light.

My heart is for a pure and lovely assembly. Christ has named us His bride, and we have been charged to reveal His mysteries to the dying as instruments of reconciliation. We are not asked to reconcile mankind with itself, though unity is found in fellowship with the Lord. No, we are asked to point every man and woman to the Christ that gave us life and set us free. We must first bear this testimony ourselves. Where the assembly is modeled and structured with the unbeliever in mind, we squander His intent and bring dishonor to the name of His people. In love and grace, we should pursue righteousness for the sake of the kingdom He is establishing in the hearts of men.

My heart is for the sick, impoverished, and poor in Spirit. Rather than inviting them to an unevenly yoked assembly, I want to actively participate in the lives of the broken. I desire to participate in the life of Christ by offering my very life for the lost. Only then will they know Him to be the God that transforms.

My heart is for a humble, ruined woman to be my wife. She must be the kind of woman that would sacrifice everything to receive her eternal inheritance. She must be willing to live anywhere, own nothing, and love everyone. I desire to begin every morning with her hands in mine, meeting our Lord in prayer. We will love and minister as one flesh, representing Christ's love for His people. We will spur one another in intimacy with Christ and be a comfort to one another for the rest of our days.

My heart is for offspring that I would be privileged to spiritually lead. They would grow up on the mission field and understand what it means to serve those in need as opposed to seeking their own privilege. I pray that my children would know the Lord through firsthand experience of His faithfulness, joyfully living with less and being grateful that it's enough. I look forward to blessing them as a good father should and taking an interest in every area of their lives. Discipleship will begin with my own family and I anticipate daily opportunities to teach and affirm God's intervention in their walk.