fruit of the _________?

One summer late in elementary school, I attended my church's VBS and memorized the "fruit of the Spirit" from Galatians 5. We were taught a song about them, which provided as effective a mnemonic as my musical brain needed. For close to twenty years, I've had the fruit rattling in my brain, ready to recite to anyone that may inquire:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23a)

I recall evaluating myself according to the list: "I'm pretty good with love and faithfulness, and above the curve with self-control...patience -- ugh." I approached the fruit as a discipline; if only I could will myself to experience joy, it would be a habit within time.

This was tough enough, but I found an even greater struggle with the accompanying "bad list":

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

I doubt my experience is unique. Most of us were introduced to a Christian lifestyle of making good choices and limiting the bad ones. By this measure, I sucked as a Christian. I couldn't will myself to produce the fruit, even with my best effort, and too often my life was plagued by the bad list.

A few years ago, a respected brother was asked to speak at our district youth camp. He encouraged the kids to bulk up their spiritual muscles, cast away their fear, and return to the world as extreme "warriors for Christ." Naturally, many campers were moved by the sermon and responded with quick, but genuine commitments. I approached the speaker afterwards and asked how the campers would make such a leap. I had the unique perspective of having seen the same teens make the same stand when motivated by other highly-skilled speakers.

These stories correlate because I would have been the kid that couldn't hold it together between the mountaintop experiences. I was properly inspired and knowledgeable of scripture, yet still was a total screw-up. The majority of my peers faced the same discouragement, so I came to the conclusion that Christianity was little more than a wishful philosophy. Satan would always tempt me with the bad list, and Jesus would appreciate my best effort with the fruit.

In my evangelical upbringing, I rarely heard about the Holy Spirit. When He was discussed, the Spirit was described as the conscience in my head, sort of like a mental WWJD bracelet. When temptation came into conflict with my knowledge of what was right, the Holy Spirit would hound me until I made a good decision.

So why did I keep making poor choices?

Shortly after college, I began studying scripture for myself, and committed to slowly meditate on Paul's writings. I hadn't yet found freedom over my sin, but I stumbled across passage after passage describing the characteristics of those filled with the Spirit. I began to pray for His help, even though I didn't know what I was asking.

The first change occurred in my human interactions. God started giving me a "sixth sense" for the spiritual climate: in particular, the motives of man. I hated it. I felt judgmental and didn't know what to do with it. I maintained my distance from other believers because of what I felt I "knew" about them, and became alarmed when my intuition was repeatedly verified.

Corporate meeting times became equally frustrating. I received discernment on what He was wanting to accomplish, and experienced grief when opportunities were missed. I felt like a fool in trying to describe these promptings, and feared sharing them with others. But I also learned that they could be trusted.

Over the next few years, it became obvious that my life had changed. I couldn't describe it as a response to a major event or pinpoint when it began. Others began describing the fruit they saw in me, and co-workers were bewildered by what they described as a supernatural restraint towards immorality. I longed to communicate that this Spirit was present in all who believe, but it was easier for them to attribute my transformation to something I had accomplished.

When we lack the context of the "good and bad lists," we draw the same false conclusion that Paul was arguing against in Galatians. Because our flesh and the Spirit are naturally at conflict, holy living is less about willing ourselves away from destructive behavior and more about living according to a Spirit with the authority to set us free! Being a "warrior" without the Spirit is inherently doomed to fail, as the Law has always condemned us to death. Ephesians 6:17 reminds us of the one offensive weapon we are given to fight the enemy's schemes. His Spirit is more than sufficient.

We would all do well to equip what our Jesus has given us. "By faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope." (Galatians 5:5)

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. (Galatians 5:16-25, emphasis added)