Do I want to address my greatest wound? No -- I've done it before. There's always the possibility that I will get hurt again, and I've already been through this process at least three times.
Can I really ask others to address their greatest wounds without bucking up and making myself vulnerable to pain? A resounding no. How do I reconcile these answers? I haven't the foggiest.
Do I like what my flesh is capable of when responding in defense of my wound? No -- I hate myself when I presume the worst of God's plans. And I hate that history defies my desire to presume the best.
I wish there was some master key to unlock my heart. Something or some word is not connecting. God has spoken a lot of truth into my life, both through His voice and the words of others. But something is still bound, and I have no idea how to find it.
I need His grace in the worst way. I need Jesus to reveal my deepest lie. There's a lot of good in my life...no doubt. But what if this is as good as it gets in my current state?
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