I know I shouldn't be such a pooper -- sometimes I have difficulty lending due credence to Proverbs or Song of Songs because of the king's shortcomings. Surely I have my own vices as I've never discredited the angry, stubborn, or depressed for their own contribution to God's word, but accepting the folly of adultery from a man married to every third woman on earth raises a proud, virginal flag.
[Dearest Anthony, you have read the title to your own blog... right?]
Ecclesiastes has always been the neutralizer for me, the redemption amidst a life of folly. The only thing more intolerable than living a life of folly is pretending that you haven't. Solomon's life demonstrates the futility of fleshly pursuit. He does not speak as one that has abstained from the finer things and deemed them vain. No man had greater opportunity to gratify himself. It is through Solomon's indulgence that the word "meaningless" carries weight.
And Solomon's lesson is my lesson -- likely it is your lesson. Having asked and received the greatest gift on earth (intimately understanding the ways of his Father), Solomon often chose to disregard that gift. He chose the natural over the spiritual.
And why not? He was king! Polygamy was acceptable. Israel was experiencing its most lengthy period of peace, certainly a result of Solomon's negotiating "efforts." His world (our world) would encourage Solomon to take what he can get. Well, he got it.
This has always been the dichotomy between man's ways and God's way. We have the ability to reason and justify the most logical solution, often to a selfish end. Given the opportunity to serve God or serve ourselves, we are continually taught that creating a life for ourselves will make us happy. I've bought it. I would presume to know exactly what I need. What ridiculous folly.
We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. However, as it is written:Equating human wisdom with Godly discernment is the greatest folly. Our natural inclinations are more often than not contrary to Godly discernment. One desires to find solutions that defend or construct our own position; the other is concerned with glorifying Him. How could these align?
"What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived" -- the things God has prepared for those who love him -- these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for,
"Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?"
But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Cor. 2:6-16)
When I was eighteen, I made an unexpected friend named Michelle. With prom season around the corner, I deliberately sat Michelle aside to deliver my intentions: how God had laid the Bethel community on my heart and that beginning a relationship would be foolish. She shook her head in agreement and we continued to enjoy one another for the next month.
We ended up having an incredible time at prom. On the way home, I took her first kiss because I knew we both wanted it. I felt justified. Nobody -- not my friends, her friends, our parents, our youth groups -- would have condemned me for demonstrating my affection towards a girl that loved the Lord. As a result, we decided to further our relationship.
My circumstances had not changed. I was still leaving for Bethel in the fall and still planned to make a life for myself there. I had taken what was available, what others perceived as healthy. It would have been considered foolish to share mutual feelings with a girl and let them go to waste. After all, how often do two people truly connect?
The most frustrating element of my relationship with God is that He knows me better than I know myself. The Spirit offers discernment to manifest His righteousness within us so that we might know His heart. What an incredible privilege! And yet, I choose to fight for what I perceive fits my vision instead of allowing Him to shape my life into His.
Byron and I recently watched an episode of LOST in which Jack refuses to give up on a dying Boone. At the climax of the story, Jack is ready to cut off Boone's leg in order to give him a fighting chance. Already resigned to his own death, Boone pleads with Jack to give up on him. Jack wasn't persisting on account of Boone's best interest; he simply wasn't ready to let go.
My friends consider a billion reasons in which I had left the Facebook world, but it boils down to the same principle: I'm awful at letting go. I know that given the opportunity to maintain my relationships from Indiana, Kansas City, St. Charles, Wyoming, Bethel College, each coffeehouse, each youth group, each camp, each school, blah, blah, blah... I will react according to my natural inclination. I will never let go.
It's okay for me to let go. God needs me to let go.
I've diverted from the original theme, so I'll return to the topic at a later hour. Suffice it to say, Godly wisdom often seems foolish to me. It can be painful, lonely, inconsistent, or irrational. Within it, His grace abounds. He longs to protect me from the impulsive desires that I justify through worldly logic. More than knowing how to access spiritual discernment, He'd have me accept His wisdom to keep my paths straight. Like with Solomon, both are available for the taking.
4 comments:
I love reading your blog. It makes me feel less alone in how I think/process.
Thanks for the encouragement, Miranda. I see that you're moving to KC -- what opportunity awaits? God revealed a lot during my own time in that city.
Yeah, I didn't even realize you'd spent time there until a couple blog posts ago! Got any other cities you've lived in that I can plan on in my future, since I seem to be unknowingly following your patterns? ha. St Louis, check. KC, check.
I'll be part of a year-long program called Heartland Charity Volunteers. It's through the Catholic Volunteers network. I'll be living in a house with 5 other women who are part of the program this year. We'll each be working at a nonprofit in the Kansas City area. My placement isn't finalized yet, so I'm not entirely sure where I'll be working. I'm nerdy excited because we'll be living in a former convent. ha. And the program is run by the Sisters of Charity. I've always joked that if I was born Catholic, I'd be a nun by now. This is as close as it's gonna get for me, I guess. :) I'm really excited about the intentional community setting, learning more about Catholicism from my fellow housemates and the sisters, and just the opportunity to serve in a new place, learn new things, and see where God is leading me (grad school, missions, etc). So yeah. That's all I know about it.
I'll let you know where you're headed once I get there myself. :)
I think you'll like it there, and the harvest is certainly ripe. I consider my year in KC "the wilderness," in the sense that it deconstructed so many of my sacred ministry cows to prepare me for the work He had for me. I arrived expecting one thing, and God ripped that apart to form a solid foundation. I pray that the same preparation will occur in your life.
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