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Yesterday during bible study, Byron pondered the enigma of feeling alone while physically being around many. His contribution helped me identify why I often find casual engagements to be futile. For me, loneliness has not been a physical thing -- I become lonely when I lack spiritual common ground. Yes, I greatly desire the physical presence of those with whom I've found spiritual unity, but their presence is secondary to the comfort of their understanding.

This explains the human draw towards denominational lines. If we can surround ourselves with enough people that share a philosophy on the finer points, we don't need to search for unity -- it is understood. What I attained by remaining true to the Missionary Church was a group of like-minded people that could share spiritual life without debating the approach. The foundation of our conversation was established, and we could comfort one another within the boundaries of our common experiences.

Do I find these boundaries limiting and proud? I do now. However, I am no more zealous to defend my current boundaries than before. Let's be honest: most of us have made up our minds. Fielding a billion questions about my church theology would serve one of two purposes: to convince me that you're right or to convince you that I'm wrong. Since my faith is based chiefly on experience, there is no room for debate. I will continue to trust that I have found truth because I have seen it. You can continue to defend that I haven't found truth, because you haven't shared the same experience.

It can't be both ways, can it? I can't own a truth sound enough to unify AND heretical enough to debate! [Isn't this what made Christ so frustrating to the Jews?] We inevitably must agree or disagree -- my experience refuses to waver, thus our unity hangs in the balance.

[Elijah] replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

The LORD said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him."

So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him. Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. "Let me kiss my father and mother good-by," he said, "and then I will come with you."

"Go back," Elijah replied. "What have I done to you?"

So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his attendant.

As the option pool continues to shrink, can I expect the company of friends?