Today at bible study, my friend Michael and I discussed our propensity for missing the big picture. I know that God is at work when I feel alone, and my own sin sets me up for frustration. How many relationships have I held with a tight grip, only for God to force me to let go? With the perspective of the passing days, I can always identify His protection, but I seem just as bent on clinging the next time. I can be such a slow sheep.
Elijah's depression was rooted in his loneliness, but he couldn't perceive the number of consecrated companions that God had reserved for the appropriate hour. This goes beyond simple shortsightedness of the big picture; do we trust that He is sovereign? When we dismiss God's knowledge of our best interest, we come to the faulty conclusion that He does not love, for our perception of our best interest is often in direct conflict with His protective work.
Knowing this (cognitively) doesn't make it hurt less. I feel like an emotional doormat at times, expected to calmly adjust to the world's ever-changing whims, without the least consideration for my heart's investment. And while there is merit and wisdom in the guarding of my heart, a good portion of His anointing is in my willingness to keep throwing it out there. When I am robbed of this willingness through my bitterness, Satan gains ground, and my heart is no longer reckless for the sake of man's redemption. The balance for me, as it was for Elijah, is to seek the Lord in the offering of my heart, allowing my passion to be distributed to willing recipients of His grace. Thus, I wait...
1 comment:
good words. really.
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